#-really. though if you just read the last like 5 issues of the 1980 run Youll Immediately Get To How Marc Being Jewish Is Important

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

Ok which fucking youtuber said Marc being Jewish never comes up in the comics because its such a common thing people say Im convinced some youtube idiot said it in a “EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MOONKNIGHT!!” video like two years ago and now everyone thinks its fact

[flightsoffandom]

The Truth

(The Sitter Part 6)

Pairs: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Words: 1980

Summary: Aaron and the BAU start working on your case. You find out the truth about what happened but you find something else out along the way.

Warnings: Mentions of reader’s family’s death, mentions of child death, mentions of blood

Notes: Left completely gender-neutral.  Collab Series I am doing with the ever amazing @less-intelligent-spencerreid If you are interested in being tagged in the future parts of this comment on this or send me an ask.  

Continuation of The Sitter: Part 1–Part 2–Part 3–Part 4–Part 5–Part 6*

After the first night at Aaron’s, Penelope had offered to let you stay at her place. Derek also agreed to stay at Penelope’s as basically your bodyguard. Penelope tried really hard to make it like a sleepover. She always had fun movies to watch, junk food, and comfy blankets. So during the night, you could easily forget about your problems and worries for a few hours. It was when it was actually time for you to go to sleep that you had issues. Nothing against Derek, you hadn’t known him long but you trusted him. You just hadn’t been sleeping well at Penelope’s. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that though. The only time you had been able to get a decent amount of sleep with little to no nightmares was in Aaron’s office.

You woke up startled when Penelope walked into Aaron’s office. Your heart was racing as you sat up on the couch.

Penelope was talking a mile a minute holding a large stack of files in her hands, “It took some digging.” She walked over to Aaron at his desk, “Like some digging, digging. Had to partially hire the internet equivalent to a construction crew and use one of those scoopy excavator things to get through layers and layers of old murder cases from all over the country.”

You stare at the brightly colored woman who was being particularly loud. You tried to follow what Penelope was saying but she was talking so fast and your exhausted brain wasn’t letting you follow along, “What’s happening?”

Aaron was glaring at Penelope and you didn’t think it was just for her to get to the point, “Garcia!”

Penelope followed Aaron’s line of sight and landed on you. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes trying to mentally catch up to what was happening.

Penelope made a face, “I am unbelievably sorry.” She didn’t give you a chance to reply before turning back to look at Aaron, “But I come bearing good…” Penelope makes an unpleasant noise, “Well not good actually, very terrible awful news but helpful.” Penelope finds the word she is looking for and continues, “I come bearing helpful news.” She gives an unsure shrug before handing the files over to Aaron.

Aaron looks over them, one by one. You tried to read his face but ever since Aaron took your case he seemed to only have two looks. Exhausted and determined, a lot of the times he was both at once. Penelope waited for some kind of reply.

Aaron got through the large stack of new files, “We need to bring these to the team.”

Penelope nodded and walked out of Aaron’s office to gather the rest of the team. Aaron grabbed the files and left as well. Leaving you behind for a moment. You wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep and you felt like you should know what was in those files. Even if you didn’t want to know was sort of despicable violence the killer stalking you was capable of. So you slide out of the office as well and slowly made your way to the meeting room, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself. As soon as you made it to the doorway of the conference room, Aaron spotted you. He walked over, physically blocking you from getting into the room.

Aaron looked at you with concern in his eyes, “You don’t need to see this.”

If you shifted just right you could see around him and into the room. Letting you catch glimpses of crime scene photos and evidence bags. Aaron immediately figures out what you’re doing and shifts with you to block your line of sight.

You glare at Aaron, “I don’t really want to look at all that stuff but I need too. I can help.”

A few of the other team members walk past the two of you, Aaron moving to only let them through. The minor standoff earning you side glances from passersby.

Aaron shakes his head, gently placing a hand on your shoulder to both comfort you and keep you from moving into the room, “I’ll keep you updated and ask you questions when we need more information. For now, you should rest.”

You move just enough to see what is happening in the meeting. Seeing the team pull evidence bags out of boxes. When you see a pair of picture frames you are immediately stunned. No longer able to hear anything even if Aaron was still talking to you. Drawn to the objects you step backward out of Aaron’s grasp and then push your way passed him. Slowly approaching the table you could feel eyes on you but you didn’t care. When you get to the table you pick up the two separate evidence bags.

The bags were both filled with a picture frame. Each photo showing two ‘lasts’. One was the last family photo you ever took with, Mom, Dad, Sammy, and yourself. It had been one of those yearly family photos. Some cheesy fake background with tacky matching outfits but each of you had big genuine smiles on your faces. The happy atmosphere of the photo was ruined by the broken glass that had allowed blood to seep through and stain the paper. The other picture was just as badly damaged. It had been the last picture taken of just you and Sammy. You had been pushing Sammy on the swings and your parents had managed to catch it on film. What should have been a good memory was now stained just like the other one. The rusty-red color of dried blood ruining some of the few good memories you had left of your family.

You finally started to gain some awareness again. You placed both bags onto the table before retreating back. Exiting the meeting room just as quickly as you had entered it. You had thought you were ready to look back at this evidence and even thought you could emotionally handle it. Seeing those pictures again however had proved you wrong. You make it back into Aaron’s office before you start crying. Seeing those happy memories with your family ruined by the same thing that had taken them away from you forever was too much. You had no idea what happened to the dozens of family photos that must have been in the house. The year after their murder was a blur and when you had finally came too you had just written off ever having a picture to remember them by. You cover your face with your hands before letting yourself fall back onto the couch. Letting yourself sob into the palms of your hands.

You don’t hear the door open. You feel Aaron rubbing your back and you look at him.

“You were right, I should have listened to Aaron. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize y/n, I know you just want to help.”

When you were calmed down he said, “I’m going to go help my team. We’ll catch this guy”

***

“Okay, the focus is clearly on the kids. With the vase and the birthday,” Morgan starts, thinking out loud. “I have an idea.” He said, calling Garcia in her office.

“You’ve reached the office of supreme genius, speak, and be dazzled.” 

“Hey baby girl, I need you to get me a list of kids that died on their birthdays. I need it to be between 20 and 30 years ago.”

“Unfortunately, my chocolate thunder, that is a list of 27.”

“Cross it with kids that have an older brother that is still living. Also, look for suspicious hospital visits for both kids before the death.”

“One! Max Davis died on their birthday. They apparently fell off of a roof. Both Max and their older brother Jordan Davis had multiple hospital visits before Max’s death and Jordan’s continued their’s afterwards.

“Thanks Garcia.” He said hanging up the phone and going to find Hotch.

****

You’re standing in the observation room with Rossi while Hotch and the UnSub, Jordan Davis, are in the interrogation room. Hotch got a confession which ended with the UnSub yelling, “I couldn’t protect Max and these people couldn’t protect their younger siblings! It’s their own faults!”

Agents from a different unit came and took Davis into custody. Aaron came into the observation room and Rossi left. The two of you walked up to his office. He wrapped his arms around you and you put your face in his shoulder, tears running down your face.

“It’s okay y/n, you’re safe, we got him.”

He held onto you until you stopped crying and you pulled away. He looked at you with soft eyes, “Are you okay?”

You nod at him and respond, “It still hurts, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.” 

You offer him a small, genuine small. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He returned your small smile.

“Do you want to go get something to eat?” You asked him, knowing he hadn’t eaten all day.

“Sure. Do you want to-uh make it a date?” He replied carefully.

“Do I-yes I would love to.” You smiled at him and he returned the gesture. 

He grabbed his bag the two of you walked out of his office and to the elevator. Once you got out, he wrapped his free arm around your shoulder. It was warm and comfortable. He opened the passenger door of his vehicle for you. 

****

You had both ordered and there was a lull in the conversation. 

“Why were you so surprised when I asked you for a date?” He asked.

You blushed and said, “I may have overheard your conversation with Rossi.”

He chuckled and you let out a small laugh. “He could tell I was lying you know.”

You smiled. You seem to be doing that a lot lately. “Well, I’m glad you were.”

Just then the waiter arrived with your food. The two of you ate and continued talking. When you were both done, he paid the check. You tried to convince him to split it but he refused. 

“At least let me get dessert then?” You wanted to repay the favor, but you also wanted the night to last as long as possible.

“What do you have in mind?” He asked as the two of you walked outside.

“We could walk to the ice cream shop that’s a few blocks away.”

“Sounds perfect.”

****

At the ice cream shop you ordered a waffle cone with cotton candy ice cream and he got a waffle cone with cookies and cream ice cream. After you paid you decided to take a longer way back to his car as you ate them. You talked and laughed with him the entire time. 

He drove you home and walked you to your door. Before walking inside you turned around to face him. 

“Goodnight Aaron.” You said as you looked up at him. 

“Goodnight y/n.” The two of you held eye contact for a little while before he leaned in. He stopped just short of your lips, looking into your eyes for approval. You gave him a small nod and he gently cupped your face and pressed his lips to yours. They were warm and smooth. It lasted for a few seconds before he pulled away and took a breath. Your hands were on the back of his head and you gently pulled him back towards you. The second kiss was longer and deeper than the first. He tasted sweet from the ice cream. This time you pulled away, needing to breathe.

“Wow.” Was all you said once you caught your breath.

He smiled at you and nodded slowly. 

“Goodnight y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You nodded and said “Goodnight.” 

He walked back to his car to leave as you walked inside your house.

Continuation of The Sitter: Part 1–Part 2–Part 3–Part 4–Part 5–Part 6* 

Tags: @shrimpyblog @hommoturttle @winterscaptain @jovialtimetravelgladiator  @lex-is-a-shipper @cypherthetransmasc @winterparkers @1234-angelika @thosesteelblueeyesaremysafeplace

[thebeauregardbros]

LFRP: Alus Beauregard | Crystal Server

THE BASICS ––– –– –

Occupation: Free Paladin | Field Medic | Café Proprietor

Hobbies: Fashion | Tea Brewing | Pastry Creation | Jewelry Making | Reading Faerie Tales

Race: Miqo’te (Sunseeker Descent)

Sexuality/Romance: Asexual / Panromantic

Relationship Status: Single; never married

Languages: Eorzean | Common. Understands all languages; possesses The Echo.

Alignment: Neutral Good

PERSONAL ––– –– –

Alias: “Alice” (💢)

Residence: The Goblet, Ward 8 : Sultana’s Breath Apartments; Wing 1; Apartment #21

Place of Work: Café Nobilitea: Lavender Beds Ward 20, Lot #8 | Anywhere his Eorzean Grand Company sends him.

Birthplace: ??? (Grew up in Eorzea; particularly in the Thanalan area)

Fears: Slugs | Failing to keep his comrades safe | Failing to save his enemies from themselves

APPEARANCE ––– –– –

Height: “Tall for a miqo’te” (5′8″/173cm)

Build: Barrel-chested, muscular; untoned muscles | Long legs, wide shoulders, slender hips.

Age: Unknown; nameday 20 yrs ago. Approximately 23 summers old.

Gender: Male

Skin tone: Tan; Gold Undertone

Eye color: Heterochromia; Deep Fuschia (Right) | Golden Yellow (Left)

Hair color: Golden Blonde

Body Mods: Pierced ears.

Distinguishing Marks: [SPOILER] Large amounts of large-scale bruises and scars all over his body. They are almost always covered up with his clothing. There are no visible scars on his face, neck, or hands.

Common Accessories: Large amounts of gold jewelry; Excessive rings, bracelets, pocket watch chains, earrings, tiaras, circlets, crowns | Large amounts of fresh and/or fake flowers; On his lapel, coming out of his pockets, warn as a flower crown, tucked in his hair, tucked amongst the buttons on his outfits, etc.

BODY LANGUAGE ––– –– –

Walk: Excellent posture; he carries his upper body with strength, while his legs nearly cross in his stride like an elegant female runway model.

Voice: His voice is often strong, clear, deep, and commanding, with the slightest hinge of huskiness. While off-guard, however, his voice cracks into a higher pitched and goofier voice. His quiet tones are very soft and sweet, like a warm fuzzy blanket wrapping you up in it on a cold winter’s night. (Voiceclaim/reference: Johnny Yong Bosch, particularly his roles as Vash from Trigun and Zero from Marvel vs. Capcom.)

Tics or Mannerisms: His speech consists of a shakepearian inspired word usage with a consistent disuse of contractions, similar to Urianger. | He tends to step-dance or become especially physically clumsy while nervous in social situations. | He will elegantly dodge all physical contact, even minor, unless he is comfortable enough with you to make the first contact.

Smell: Gardenia (Jasmine) / Cuttlebone dust

Posture: Constantly straight and erect; shoulders rolled back, chest out. Never looks truly relaxed, even while sitting. A model of good posture.

Disabilities: [SPOILER] Surface numbness on his scar tissue. Mild numbness in his left-hand fingertips.

RELATIONSHIPS ––– –– –

Romantic Partner: (None.)

Parents: Gwenneg Beauregard (Adoptive) (Deceased)

Siblings: Arc Beauregard (Twin Brother) (Alive)

Children: (None.)

Extended Family: (Unknown.)

Pets: Various unnamed wild songbirds and a fledgling Dodo that followed him home. He keeps feeding them, so they keep coming back, but he does not claim ownership of any of them. | He has also developed a relationship with a wild white horse he’s named Marion who consistently comes to his call. | His military-issued chocobo is named Erminia.

Other: Alus considers everyone he meets to be a friend.

PERSONALITY TRAITS ––– –– –

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Addictive / In Between / Nonaddictive

RP HOOKS ––– –– –

Café Nobilitea: Alus is the proprietor of a western-style teahouse with a distinct theme for elegance, royalty, and other-worldliness - His café is bright, full of flowers, and always playing soft kind-hearted piano music; the type of place a person could become lost in whence they’ve become tired of the grueling and dark outer world; a real heaven and haven. He often spends his free time there and enjoys sitting with his customers to get to know them.

Grand Company Militia: Alus is a very active member with the Eorzean grand companies in fighting against the Garlean empire and any other threats to the peace there might be upon the world. It’s very possible your character might have teamed up with him at some point in active duty.

The Prince on a White Horse: Alus patrols random fields often in order to keep the peace. Your character or someone your character knows might have been saved by the mysterious ‘Prince on a white horse’ while being attacked by bandits or beastmen, who oft leaves without giving his name.

A Fellow Warrior Of Light: Alus has helped out the Scions of the Seventh Dawn on occasion due to his status as a Warrior of Light; one of many.

LOOKING FOR ––– –– –

Long-Term ANYTHING!: Friendships, rivalries, casual familiarities, romances, anything. Alus has lived a long life without any PC RP interactions, and I feel his writing suffers for it. I want someone who will be there for the long run and get to know him. I want stories to develop. I want Alus to grow because of other people.

Open-minded villains!: Alus has the patience of a saint and will befriend the nastiest of criminals no matter what. Alus will stop them from directly committing serious crimes he may be there to witness (murder, kidnapping, robbery, etc.), but will ultimately be very forgiving and calm when dealing with these topics. He wants to genuinely make a connection with people he doesn’t understand and strives his best to soften anybody’s heart, no matter how hard. His ultimate goal is to change their ways for the better through patience and understanding.

Platonic flirts!: Alus has a lot of love to give and happy to give it to nearly everyone and anyone. He throws around the words ‘I love you’ quite easily, and if he is especially crushing on someone, he will hold their hands and hug them openly despite his normal dislike of physical touch. He is most happy when he has a large circle of queerplatonic relationships, but will be absolutely exclusive to their ‘steady’ when he has made that romantic commitment.

Distant family members!: Alus knows very little of the Beauregards; his adoptive father and surnamesake did not speak of them much. Alus is fascinated with Elezen culture and considers himself one of them. He would be incredibly happy to find anyone with the same last name who would welcome him to his adopted ancestor’s information.

ADVENTURE!: Once in awhile, let’s RP somewhere other than a unmoving place. Let’s RP in a dungeon. Let’s RP while doing gold saucer chores. Let’s RP while talking to random minor NPCs. Let’s RP while doing something other than just sitting! It can help a lot with improvisation and keep the creative juices flowing.

ABOUT THE MUN ––– –– –

Who I am: Hey, my name’s Will. I’m a 24 y/o prep cook living in Alaska. My family’s straight-up wiccan, I got 3 black cats, I love super flashy ridiculous fashion, 1980s comedies, and my favorite game’s Bayonetta. I’m a queer Aquarius with mild ADHD. Buddhism and pacifism are super important to me. I love the McElroys?? and uh. I yell in caps a lot. i WILL make you a playlist of music if you ask for recommendations, don’t fuckin tempt me. I’m a casual goofus fuck. here’s my ‘me’ tag on my personal,

Server: Balmung, Crystal Data Center

Time Zone: Alaska (GMT-8)

Availability: 11AM-2AM (subject to change)

Writing Style: Rapidfire! 95WPM. I like to RP just like I type normally - as thoughts pop up, I type ‘em, just like if I was talking. I’m not a big fan of waiting for turns; I have an anxiety disorder and that particularly makes me extremely anxious! However, I am happy to do short paragraph RP with you if we’ve been RPing long enough. Huge paragraph RP is 100% OK on Discord!

Platforms: In-game(preferred) or Discord.

Restrictions ––– –– –

No ERP!

No Permadeath! I really do not want to RP with anyone who intends to eventually kill off their character, either. This is a legitimate trigger for me.

RP Fighting...? I’ve never done this before. I’m not a fan of physical injury so it’s unlikely I would want to, either. But if the situation really calls for it, I’m open to learning. I will not allow you to permanently disfigure or disable my character - temporary injury is alright, but please talk to me about it first.

Mature Themes...? This is okay for me. Swearing, murder, prostitution, drugs.. I’m an adult! I don’t mind these themes being mentioned or being used as a backdrop to a prompt. Alus isn’t a fan of these things though! So just keep that in mind.

Sexual Assault...? For the most part, NO. However, a forceful kiss? An inappropriate touching that stops as soon as my character says no? Maybe. Ask me beforehand and be clear about what you’re thinking, no surprises.

More Info ––– –– –

Click here for Alus’ RP blog and all the memes and asks I’ve written for him!

tags;

@ffxiv-crystal-rp @crystalxivrp @mooglemeet​

[lit--bitch]

Current-Reads (20/04/2020 - 26/04/2020) 🍓🐢

(Disclosure: I don’t know anybody I’ve been currently reading this week. 😊)

Adding the preface again here: every Sunday without fail I throw up the freshest literature and photography I’ve read over the week, sometimes it’s a book, sometimes it’s a piece I saw in a magazine or an online zine, sometimes it’s something I saw on social media, etc. Sometimes I add ‘RECOMMEND’ next to a few of the titles, but that’s not to say I don’t recommend all of them, I just love some pieces more than others. Not everything will be everybody’s cup of tea, yanno, c’est la vie. And any titles that you see in bold are hyperlinked so if you click or tap them they’ll direct you straight to the source… or shopping basket. 

This week I’m gonna throw in a red herring and tell you about something I’ve been watching as well as what I’ve been reading, because I think it’s really cool and definitely appropriate for the age we’re living in at the moment. 

So I’ve been reading: Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) which was edited by her son, David. I also read an interview on Granta from March between Rachel Long and Morgan Parker. I’ve also tucked into a couple pieces on Fence, Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’ and Anthony Michael Morena’s ‘The Whale’. I also saw Cecelia Knapp’s poem in Bath Magg Issue Three (but the whole issue is an absolute smacker, it’s great). Last but not least, I’m up to episode 5 of a brand new thing called The Midnight Gospel. It is crazy good. And it’s on Netflix right now. 

***

Cecilia Knapp, ‘I Used To Eat KFC Zingers Without Hating Myself’, Bath Magg Issue #3: I really loved the whole of Issue Three, I guess I was quite struck by this particular poem for its “staccato-ness”. This poem is buttered with present-day references. But they’re not necessarily about creating a familiar environment. Rather the object of familiarity is found within the assemblage of places, snacks and thoughts, all of which compound the grief ‘I’ is experiencing. The ‘I’ ruminates on life’s banality and their personal insecurities in living banality: ‘I need a thigh gap. I use emojis / to avoid conflict. Worry I’m a gentrifier. Watch docs about murdered women’. The vapidity is funny. The pain is not. The insecurities deepen. Your body, your life, continues the ache of day-to-day routine, and finds no resolution in the things which may or may not stand to comfort oneself when ravaged by loss. The poem feels quite loose, and disinterested. It’s a sore poem, but its array of references make it colourful. It sort of reminded me of Édouard Levé’s work a little bit? But if Édouard Levé had been a pop culture fanatic chewing HubbaBubba bubblegum on the London Overground.  Bath Magg is a pretty exciting new magazine, (been around just under a year I think?) and they’ve published a lot of great writers, many of whom are emerging and I’ve spotted some quite established peple in there too. Kudos to their rubber ducky logo. It’s run by Mariah Whelan and Joe Carrick-Varty. 

In Conversation with Morgan Parker and Rachel Long, Granta Magazine: I deeply love Morgan Parker’s work, she’s, in my opinion, the master of titles. I can’t think of anybody who titles their work as well as Morgan Parker does. And I love the depth of honesty and charisma in this interview. Like yeah, it appears to be a generic Q/A but, it genuinely feels like a conversation, and it’s welcoming and unpretentious. Rachel Long asks some penetrating questions, and Morgan’s answers are so detailed and self-aware. Most of the discussion revolves around the action of writing poetry in general and where does that impulse arise from, but they do discuss Morgan’s latest collection Magical Negro which came out February last year. It’s a narrative on black womanhood, on micro-aggressions and reoccuring violence, it’s about breaking down white perceptions of blackness, and dissolving those projections. What I love about Morgan Parker is she’s tackling this fucking idiot thing where (mostly) white people think she’s attempting to represent all black women in her writing, which is, by Morgan’s own admission, impossible. Her work is a duty to herself, to the background she’s lived and lives, and to unpack that discourse in her own way. And if it resonates, then great! I felt all this was inherent in the interview and only adds to my respect for her, and to Rachel for being such an attentive interviewer. BTW Rachel Long has a debut collection coming out this July, My Darling from the Lions.

Anthony Michael Morena, ‘The Whale’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): I can’t tell you how much I adored this beautiful mass of whale and word. It’s an essay which references the American Natural History Museum’s Blue Whale model. The writing is thick with feeling and fat with concern. It blends monologue, memoir. It’s non-fiction and documentary. It’s elusive, enigmatic, fragmented. It’s like broken biscuits and blubber. To me it felt like a note on the offences of climate change, the emotional response and grief as we bystand erosion and corrosion, the loss of life, and the urge to merge something back together as it dissolves and fragments before our eyes. It’s as personal as it is public. A gorgeous and complex piece.

Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) (RECOMMEND): I felt so afflicted reading Susan Sontag’s diaries, because y’know, it’s the equivalent of invading an Ancient Egyptian pharaoh’s tomb. Like, leave people alone. At the same like, this woman. These diaries are still shaping me, and each section leaves you with the weirdest aftertaste. Her personality permeates through every detail, every line-break, every reference and articulation of feeling. You learn so much, you gain so much from her perceptions and observations. How do I contain Susan Sontag? How do I describe these diaries? Not at all. Just buy it. 

Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): My eyes locked onto this piece and just didn’t really stop reading. Lexi’s voice is enamouring and hypnotic. It’s so violent too. You’re lunged into friction burns and sports injuries, time and progression, the tensions between collectivity and individuality, family and sexuality, or as Fence put it, ‘lesbian eros’. This piece felt acidic. At times you can’t tell if the ‘I’ is indifferent or hurting to the point of numbness. It straddles so many different thematics, and breaks down a lot of conventions pertaining to the “ideal experience” of family relationships and team work. The resolution seems to be that in spite of people, our collectivity is defined by our collective solitude. This essay kicked me around a football field. It takes a good few repeated reads to appreciate its kaleidoscopic shifting, but it’s definitely one of my favourites.

The Midnight Gospel, from Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell, Netflix: (RECOMMEND) So the other day my friend Ben linked this to me and I had seen the trailer ages back and thought “Oh yeah I really wanna watch that”, but just forgot. After his reminder, I started watching it and ever since I’ve been saying to loads of other friends “Have you watched ‘The Midnight Gospel’ on Netflix?” because I’m d y i n g  to talk about it with everybody. 

I literally can’t categorise this “TV show” to you. It’s like if animation had a baby with a philosophy podcast and then put that baby onto an IV drip of psychedelics. It’s this swarm of different stimuli which you kind have to zone in on and absorb individually and yet somehow collectively. 

So like, “Clancy” is a spacecaster who sets up “spacecasts” (podcasts) with creatures from other simulated worlds and he interviews them. But when Clancy transports himself into these worlds, it’s not like they’re sat down on some cream sofa with two glasses of water like it’s animated Oprah. No, his interviewees are like in the middle of fighting off a zombie apocalypse or meditating on a mountain or trying to find and save their lost lover. And Clancy just joins them on the journey and interviews them about their “specialism”. These are real people that are being interviewed like, the first episode is with Dr. Drew Pinker. And when you’re watching it, you think that the animation is totally separate to the conversation exchange the characters are having, but that’s not true. They have intersections, they have meaning. It only becomes obvious that it has meaning right at the end of each episode, but if you lock on you’ll see it’s all relevant throughout. 

One of my friends was like “Oh I might stick that on tonight and have a joint” and I was like, don’t fucking get high when you’re watching this because it’s already intense enough as it is, like you know that Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell have felt some real shit to create this absolute rare jewel. In my opinion, you don’t need cannabis to appreciate these discussions. But if you wanna do it, then hey it’s a “free country”. And it’s not as though there’s a serious, central core plot like there is with Rick & Morty, I mean there is a kind of overarching plot but it’s not always integral. Like ultimately we’re invested in Clancy’s story but also all the stories of all the other people that come his way. There’s multiple plots, there’s multiple dimensions and ways of seeing. It’s a programme which delivers on multiplicity, which manifests itself in everything and everyone we see and know and touch and hear, etc, etc. 

This production articulates some of the revelations that psychedelics can give you. Psychedelics don’t make you see the world literally like these animations do, but the sensations of the animation are reminiscent of an acid trip’s oscillating moods and sensitivities. It’s really cool, and it’s very poignant, and it’s my new favourite show to watch. And what’s so great about it is that, it requires multiple watches in order to really absorb everything in its entirety, so it’s a series you can just keep going back to even after you’ve seen them all. It’s re-watchable. Just fundamental goodness all round. Best way to indulge in it is with ice cream. 🍨

***

So that’s it for this week, next Friday’s review is Annie Ernaux’s A Girl’s Story translated by Alison L. Strayer, published with Fitzcarraldo Editions. 

Stay safe and well as always, my little caramels. 💁🏽

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 5/19/20

After-School Bitchcraft, Vol. 1 | By Yu Shimizu and Kazuma Ichihara | Yen Press – Afterschool Boobcraft would be a better title for this supernatural romance about Ririki, a ditzy high school student who accidentally discovers that her chemistry teacher is a sorcerer. Though Ririki quickly realizes that she, too, has hidden powers, nothing about her giggly, helpless behavior suggests that she’s competent enough to tie her own shoes, let alone cast a spell. Renji, her teacher, is even less of a character, defined primarily by his brusque demeanor and perma-scowl. Anyone reading for plot will find the the crude, obvious fanservice irritating, while anyone reading for fanservice will find the series’ pedestrian efforts at world-building an unwelcome distraction from the parade of costume failures and panty shots, all of which are drawn in salacious detail. Not recommended. – Katherine Dacey

Animeta!, Vol. 3 | By Yaso Hanamura | J-Novel Club – Miyuki Sanada is making gradual improvement as an inbetweener, though she’s been told that if she doesn’t pass the key animation exam within a year, she’s fired. Meanwhile, her fellow new hire, Maria Date, seems to be leaving her in the dust, is actively campaigning to take her place with the prestigious Studio 7, and gets invited to enter a character design contest by the big boss. I appreciate the sports manga feel this rivalry evokes, but the most compelling part of Animeta! for me is the plight of Yuiko Fuji, the inbetween checker who once tried to become a key animator but had no flair. She’s amazing at her current job, but seeing new talent getting promoted over her is tough. This series has really grown on me, now that its been fleshing out its characters more, and I reckon I’ll stick with it for the long haul! – Michelle Smith

A Certain Scientific Accelerator, Vol. 10 | By Kazuma Kamachi and Arata Yamaji | Seven Seas – Last time I said the cliffhanger was chilling, this time that extends to much of the book. The Index series has usually been too concerned with action and harems to get into pure horror, but its spinoffs have no issues with it, particularly this one. Cannibalism of a scientific sort continues to be the norm here, with our tragic villain continuing to be sympathetic. As is Yomikawa, possibly the nicest character in the whole Indexverse. For those who aren’t reading this for nice, the good news is that Accelerator is back in action by the end of this and ready to beat villains up while continuing to state what a villain he is. Index fans will enjoy this, though may also be creeped out. – Sean Gaffney

Cocoon Entwined, Vol. 2 | By Yuriko Hara | Yen Press – Yes, it is still tempting to review these volumes by just saying “hair” and being done with it. I mean, the start of the second volume seems to be narrated from the POV of a former schoolgirl’s hair, which is now made up of the uniform of our heroine. But there is a bit more to it than that, as we cycle back a bit and get more insight into the mysterious Hoshimiya, whose hair drifting down in single hairlets (hairlets?) continues to be an emotional gut punch for most of the school. There’s also discussion of traditions, why they’re kept and when they might have to be broken for the sake of moving on and fixing things. It’s quite an emotional drama. And rest assured, it’s filled with hair. So much hair. – Sean Gaffney

The Golden Sheep, Vol. 3 | By Kaori Ozaki | Vertical Comics – The third volume of The Golden Sheep is its last, and while it was nice that the four friends at the center of the story ultimately resolved their differences, it all felt rather too easy and anticlimactic. I did like that Yuushin finds purpose in striving to achieve enough independence to live with the stray kitty he rescued, though. (It is an extremely cute kitty.) The volume is rounded out by a twisted short story called “Love Letter” in which an unborn soul chooses to be born to a teen runaway and ends up dying from neglect, but loves its mother so much that it opts to return to earth in any guise that allows it to see her, including another cute kitty who soon meets a tragic end. It left a weird taste in my brain. – Michelle Smith

How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift?, Vol. 3 | By Yabako Sandrovich and MAAM | Seven Seas – The first volume it was the fanservice that got my attention. The second volume it was the advice on keeping fit. And in this one it’s the comedy that’s really reaching out to grab you, taking the series in places I was not expecting it to go, like turning the main girls (including their teacher!) into a muscle-bound idol group, something that is impressively different but goes over like a lead balloon. Zina has fit in well with the others, and moreover she knows Satomi cosplays, so can cheerfully use that for blackmail. There are also hints that romance may come into this series—Hibiki has always been attracted to Machio when he’s not bulking out, but there’s a suggestion that her feelings may run a bit deeper than that. That said, I expect comedy to prevail. This is fun. – Sean Gaffney

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, Vol. 14 | By Aka Akasaka | Viz Media – The first half of this book is almost all dedicated to Kaguya and Shirogane finally, finally, confessing—not through words, but through actions. It’s the payoff everyone has been waiting for, and it’s handled perfectly. The second half of this book then drags it all back to hilarious comedy, with the chapter about Kaguya french-kissing Shirogane being the highlight of the volume and possibly the series. Of course, there’s the question of where do we go from here—Kaguya ends up breaking her brain so much over this that she reverts to her old icy persona, and there may be a new love triangle developing around Ishigami. So don’t stop reading just because Kaguya got confessed to—there’s still plenty more fun. – Sean Gaffney

My Hero Academia: Smash!!, Vol. 4 | By Hirofumi Neda and Kohei Horikoshi | Viz Media – The gag series has caught up to the main storyline, or at least wants to avoid the Overhaul Arc, so for the most part this volume is original material. Sometimes that’s good—the author shows a surprising taste for very dark character-based jokes when they want to, including one with Todoroki talking about his mother that made me gasp. There’s also a parents’ day again (it goes a bit better than the one in School Briefs), which allows us to see parents we forgot existed, like Uraraka’s mother. That said, there’s also a sense that the series is starting to get a bit tired. The next volume is signposted to be the last, and that’s a good thing. Go out while you’re still flying high. – Sean Gaffney

Nori | By Rumi Hara | Drawn & Quarterly – Born in Kyoto and currently based in New York, Hara has been creating comics for about a decade, but Nori is Hara’s graphic novel debut. The volume has its origins in a series of self-published mini-comics which earned Hara multiple award nominations. Nori collects six short tales of varying lengths which feature the adventures of the titular Noriko, an imaginative three-year-old, and Hana, her grandmother and caregiver. Except for a surprise trip that takes Nori and Hana to Hawaii, the stories are largely set in Osaka in the 1980s. All of them are incredibly charming. Hara effortlessly blends mythology and legends with the characters’ day-to-day lives and Nori’s fantastical imaginings. Some of my favorite moments are Nori’s interactions with older kids—some of whom really aren’t sure what to do at first with a precocious toddler hanging about as they explore the natural world together. Nori is an undeniable delight. – Ash Brown

That Blue Summer, Vol. 4 | By Atsuko Namba | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – Rio Funami is a Tokyo girl who’s been sent, along with her bookish little brother, to stay with her grandmother in the countryside for the duration of her 40-day summer vacation. She’s fallen in love with a local boy named Ginzo Izumi, who initially rejected her, believing they belonged in different worlds and valued different things. However, as time has gone on, Ginzo has come to see that’s not true. In fact, Rio seems enraptured by the village he calls home and understands the calling he feels towards graphic design while simultaneously feeling obligated to stay and take over the family liquor store. This is more than just a generic romance—it’s about passions versus practicality and finding reasons for joy in any situation. I’m enjoying it a lot and isn’t that cover a beauty? – Michelle Smith

Yowamushi Pedal, Vol. 14 | By Wataru Watanabe | Yen Press – The race that would never end has ended! And yes, our hero manages to capture first place, The first half of the book is really fantastic, showing off how good the author is at wringing drama and emotion from every last meter. The second half pales in comparison mostly as it’s setting up the next chunk of book, though seeing Onoda suddenly fail so hard simply as his mentor has left (transferred to another country) is poignant, and I suspect he needs another race or two before he can get back into form, so I expect more failure. Oh, and Kanzaki shows up briefly to remind us she exists and also help the core team get new bikes that work to their strengths. Still excellent shonen sports. – Sean Gaffney

By: Ash Brown

[kinfriday]

Wandering Hops: Epicenters and Fears

Fear makes things bigger in your mind than they are. This is especially true in my case taking that I have an anxiety condition. 

For me, there is very little chill, and every issue, even a perceived issue can become a massive crisis in my head in an instant.  This is one of the reasons I hike. Conquering miles and rough terrain, helps turn down the volume on all the static surging around and empowers me in my day to day. 

At least, that’s how it normally goes… 

Loowit Falls, at first, absolutely terrified me.  As said in previous blogs, research is the key to a good hike. Before I set out on a trail, I check reports, check what the forest service (State or National depending) has to say. I read reviews on All Trails… and consult guidebooks if I have them. 

Knowledge can make the difference between a great hike, and an utter disaster, so it helps to do your homework beforehand. 

Cliches seem to be multiplying today, so let’s move on, shall we? 

Selecting this hike, I knew it to be a challenge. It’s rated as hard, clocks in at a whopping 14 miles, and is a there-and-back-again hike. Any time spent going downhill in the beginning, means uphill at the end, and vice versa. As you can see from the altitude graph, this was going to make the end especially tough, but as I was reading, it wasn’t the physical challenge stressing me out, but the trail reports warning me of ledges with severe drops, gravelly sandy trails, and grueling up-hills that did. 

Still, I’d been feeling strong the last month, making miles, and conquering hikes. Long hikes are my thing (more to come on  that later) so a 14 miler seemed a logical next step.  

With my chest tingling with excitement and a touch of fear, I told my team… “I’m gonna do it.” Or as Maya would say… YEET. 

So now it was time for the research to really begin. I began looking at the topo maps, and followed the trail on google earth. I made my plans, talked to my husband, and began to get the logistics worked out.  

Saturday, 0430, I was up and getting ready for my biggest hike to date, and all the while I was doing final gear checks, looking at maps, all that fun stuff, my nervousness beginning to build.  

Then the husband woke up, around 630 as he often does before a hike, just to spend some time with me and said, in fearful tones.  

“Bun, I’m worried about this one.” 

I just smiled and said. “Me too, but I have fallbacks in place, and if it’s something I don’t think I can do, I’ll turn around and reassess.” 

Then, he rose, hugged me, and began pricing life insurance policies.

I shit you not… this happened. I’m about to leave on a massive, monster hike, INreach SOS beacon charged, maps printed out, checklist double checked, and I’m looking forward to a nice encouraging talk with my husband, and he leaves to check on life insurance policies. 

It’s moments like this that keep a marriage together, I tell you. 

Full of confidence, I set out on highway 504 towards Mt. St Helens, the Spirit Lake Highway, only to run into a very unusual type of traffic in Toutle Washington. 

Come to find out, there was a bike rally scheduled for the day of my hike, and there were hundreds of them on the side of the road, making their way to Johnston Ridge, the very same place I was going.

Now, I can almost hear you reading this, and shrugging, no big deal right? Well for most people that would be true, but for me, well… driving is something that makes me feel anxious, my mind likes to mess with me, and so for many years I didn’t. It’s only been recently after a lot of work and dedication that I’ve felt safe getting back behind the wheel again and now I had to deal with bikers everywhere, some of whom were so bold as to occupy the car lane, and refuse to yield. 

On top of this, the weather turned foggy as I entered what is colloquially known as Big Foot Country, so as the long and windy road took me towards the parking lot, I was feeling more, and more stressed. 

The day was beginning to feel cursed, my confidence was getting shakier by the moment, and I hadn’t even set out upon the trail yet.   

Finally arriving at Johnston Ridge, the trail head, almost 4000 feet in elevation, the fog was even thicker. I couldn’t see more than 10 feet in front of me at any given time. Still, that was enough to sight the trail, and there were others there, getting ready for their own adventures. It was a motley mix of hikers, tourists and those waiting for the bikers to arrive as they picked their way up the road, but hey, at least there were porta-potties.  

 After taking a few centering breaths, and strapping on my gear,  I set off, hiking towards Boundary Trail, which would eventually take me to Loowit Falls. 

This entire section of Mt. St Helens is filled with history, making this trail an even bigger draw for me than others. Boundary Trail #1, was founded way back in the first decade of the US Forest Service. In 1911, Park Rangers rode horses from ridge to ridge, patrolling what was then the border of two national parks, Ranier and Columbia. 

Loowit Falls on the other hand, is of the newer type of history. After months of erupting back in 1980, one morning a 5.1 earthquake struck the already battered region, and an entire wall of Mt. St. Helen’s crater collapsed, and turned into a hellacious landslide, ultimately opping a peak before crashing into the valley below, inundating Spirit Lake.

Loowit Falls was one of the many new features that arose out of the cataclysm shaping the region, up on the mountain itself, directly in the path of the former landslide.  

First though, I had to get there, and the hike starts off easily enough. There’s an observation loop that lets out to the Boundary Trail, that’s made more for tourists than hikers, so the first little bit is paved. Soon though, it gives way to gravelly dirt before angling down zig zagging and switchbacking, but I’ve seen all that before. Been there done that.  

 And there’s another cliche… 

After about a mile and a half in, still wondering if I should really attempt to go for the falls, socked in by fog I came across a sign showing the trails in the area along with this picture… 

Nervously, I set out from there, heading towards my decision point. I could have gone left, or right. Left had an easier hike, that went up to a peak, ending at around 10 miles covered, with less elevation gain, but to my right, shrouded in fog and mystery, was the hike I came to conquer. 

This was the real moment of truth. All I had was my research that said it could be challenging. Some reported the height could be intimidating, others said it was merely tough. 

What should I do?

Taking a (figurative) leap of faith, I decided to for it, comforting myself with the idea that it was ok to turn back if things got to intense, and began to descend down the trail, and the mountain, making decent time. The pillowy shroud of fog continued to lay across the trail granting me no wider vista than 5 or 10 feet, but the path was wide, and  while I did get closer to edges I still had plenty of room.

Eventually things leveled out and I could tell I was in a valley as the fog slowly began to lift, and I’m thinking is that it? Really? 

From my perspective there had been nothing to be truly afraid of. The descent wasn’t especially challenging and I had felt safe the entire time.  Unlike the husband searching for life insurance, this buoyed my confidence, even though I had eleven miles still to go. With a bounce (hop?) in my step I set out, the fog continuing to lift, revealing more of the stark landscape around me. Black and red lava rocks dotted landscapes that were in some places sandy, other places akin to moonscape, sparkling with volcanic glass and in others, covered with thick shrub like trees, or coated in wildflowers of amazing colors. Chipmunks ran to and fro, eating flowers and wondering if I was going to feed them, while birds flew overhead. 

Then it happened. Suddenly the clouds broke and there was a literal mountain in front of me, emerging out of the fog like some giant from the dusty tomes of mythologies. Mt. St. Helens lay before me in all its majestic glory, and off in the distance, a light glinted off a fast moving waterfall surrounded by volcanic sand. 

That was my half way point, where I would turn around and come back, Loowit Falls. 

I stood there for a moment and took it all in. The vista before me left me awestruck by the power of nature. Then, taking a deep breath, I dug in my trekking poles and began to hike.

And hike…. 

Then hike some more… 

As I went traffic fell away to a few familiar faces, I’d pass them, then they’d pass me as we took alternating breaks, until finally around 2pm, I rounded a switchback, and heard for the first time the roar of a waterfall. 

There it was, right in front of me, the moment I had been waiting for. Loowit Falls, in all its splendor, flowed relentless down the mountain as the wind howled off the glaciers above, chilling the air to what felt like the mid to upper 40’s. 

Buttoning down my outer layer, I made my way to a flat spot, laid my pack out and had lunch, reveling in my victory only for my open pack to flop over and spill out on the ground, voiding its contents. I went from resting to scrambling as I dove for my glasses and meds, hoping they wouldn’t fall off the edge.

In some ways, it reminded me of the day so far, there was a sensation of “emotional breathing” to the experience, stress followed by periods of ease, akin to the contraction and relaxation of breathing. Up and down, in and out, oh shit to okay…

And this was the halfway point, soon I’d have to go back the way I came, picking my way back up the mountain I had descended to get back to the trailhead. The only difference being, was that now I knew the trail, I knew what to expect, so I hoisted my pack, tightened down my straps, took some water, and got back on the trail. 

My speed increased, as the air warmed and I left the slopes of St. Helens, making good time across the dramatically stark volcanic plains. Gradually, I began to feel  more accomplished than I had in a while and, by the time I had hit ten miles I was riding high. With four miles left to go I charged forward, eager for the challenge. 

Then I started to climb. All of the descent from the morning, had to be repeated, this time going up. This is where it got grueling, as if the trail was attempting to punish me for every step I made down upon it just a few hours before, but there was nothing else to do but push through it, keep pace, and enjoy the view as I ascended, granting me new perspective now that the fog was gone. 

There were places where it was quite steep, and the drops quite far, the morning’s fog had hid all that from me, but there was room, there was space, it was something to respect, but it wasn’t anything to fear.  

 All of that worry, all of that concern, and if I had let it stop me, I wouldn’t have been there. 

Humbled by that revelation, sore from the elevation I was having to make, and humbled by a day full of experiences, I pushed myself up the trail. Soon there was the last arcing climb, until I set my feet on the pavement of the observation trail yet again, and just beyond was the parking lot. 

Setting my gear in the well of the passenger seat, I popped an electrolyte tab into my water and watched it fizz as I nibbled a Clif bar, feeling like the master of my own little universe, resting from the exertion of the day. Once I had some time to recharge, I put the key in the ignition, put the car into drive, and had a major anxiety attack.  

The problem with anxiety attacks it that you know, rationally, everything is fine. The problem is your brain isn’t listening to reason. I worked through my coping skills, and tried to get myself centered, but nothing was working. I was exhausted from the hike, and the worries of the day, and it was all crashing in on me at once, amassing as a parade of my biggest fears, and inner demons within my mind. 

I made it about three miles before I had to pull over. I stopped in at  the Coldwater boat dock, the location of last week's hike, and took a few more deep breaths, walked around the car, and tried to get my  mind right. Finally I messaged my husband letting him know what was going on. 

Messages travel slower by satellite than text, and so I had some time to sit. I looked out on the parking lot, at the strange bathrooms that looked like forgotten temples, and it reminded me that I had hiked twelve miles last week, and today, I had hiked fourteen…  

That caused my brain to stop and pause for a moment, like rays of sunshine penetrating the gloom.

I had excelled through challenges, walked along ridges, and managed my water.  I was capable, I was competent, and I was ok.

In the face of this revelation, the anxiety began to let go, and a lightbulb went off in my head. I had a weapon now against it, a reminder, that I was stronger than I thought, and as the messages came back from my husband and other supportive folks, the anxiety withered away.

In spite of all of the difficulties of the day, I had made it, and now, all I had to do was drive home. Turning the car back on, and setting into drive, I carefully made my way out of the parking lot, already thinking of next week's adventure.

[suckitsurveys]

Do you watch Shark Week? I live every week like its Shark Week.

Who is your e-mail provider? (Yahoo, MSN, etc.) I use gmail and a university-issued email. I also still have hotmail which my FB is tied to. Who is the funniest person you can think of? My dad and my husband. Would you rather date someone too serious or not serious enough? A balance, thanks. More on the not to serious side though. Do you volunteer for charities? If so, which one(s)? I should. I really wanna volunteer at an animal shelter but I just don’t have the time.

Which animals are the cutest as babies? KITTENS Would you ever go on a reality TV dating show? Nope. Do you think people are born gay or it’s a choice they make? They are born gay. Who is your favourite actor (male or female)? Will Arnett. Paul Rudd. Aubrey Plaza. Alison Brie. Have you ever been out of the country? If so, where? I went to Canada as a wee lil baby.

Star Wars or Star Trek or both or neither? Eh, neither. What are your favourite television channels? I don’t have a favorite channel anymore. I mostly just watch things on Netflix, Hulu, Prime, etc. What do you think of men in capris? I don’t care, man. Do you believe people from other countries are sexier? Whatever. How tall are you? About 5′2′’ What is your favourite movie made before 1980? Rocky Horror Picture Show. Do you keep a journal or blog? This is my journal and blog. Do you write poetry? No. Do/Did you go to high school football games? I went to one, I think. How many vowels are in your last name? 2. If you had to tattoo someone’s name on your body, whose would it be? My nieces’. Describe your favourite pair of shoes. Birkenstocks. Do you get bit by mosquitoes often? Yes. Are you allergic to any foods? No. Are you a Creationist? Lol, no. In the words of Jesse Pinkman, “SCIENCE, BITCH.” Do you know what the VY Canis Majoris is? Nope. What are some of your favourite things to talk about? TV SHOWS. How fast do you type? Fast. Do you own a digital camera? If so, what kind? No. Would you wear leopard print? Sure. Which language would you like to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. Who are you closest to in your family? My sister. What are you currently wearing? Jeans, a tshirt, and a hoodie with cat faces on it. Are you using a laptop or desktop? Desktop. Do you have a Twitter? Yeah. What is something you’re very passionate about? My nieces. Do you believe in love? Yes. How about magic in a young girl’s heart? HOW THE MUSIC CAN FREE HER WHENEVER IT STARTS. What are some phrases you say too often? So many. Would you rather be inside or outside? Outside. Cold or hot? Comfortable. Do you like the current president? FUCK NO. Do you believe people are good at heart? Blah.

What book(s) are you currently reading? Nothing at the moment. I’m gunna order Raphael Bob-Waksberg’s book to take on the plane to Utah with me though. I believe it’s called Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind? I have three kitties. Do you have a lucky number? 24. Do you like swimming in the ocean or a pool? Yes. Would you run around naked for two thousand dollars? Yes please thank you gimme money. Do you whiten your teeth? No. What web browser are you presently using? Firefox because the program I used for work doesn’t run on anything else. What is/was your favourite subject in school? Sociology. Did you ever want to be a teacher? Eh. Do you get cold easily? Eh. What was the worst sickness you ever had? My mental health is horrible. Do you talk in your sleep? Not to my knowledge. What is your dad’s first name? Rick. Find the nearest picture frame. What’s the picture of? There are two picture frames equal distance from me. One is a liquid glitter frame with a picture of the first time my older niece met her little sister. The other one is a clipboard-style frame with a picture of my older niece from her first picture day in Pre-K. Do you know how to use HTML and/or CSS? Just very basic HTML.

[ink-logging]

Detective Comics #1000, Chris Conroy & Dave Wielgosz, eds.: I bought this on impulse because it was on the new releases shelf and people were talking about Batman online. It’s a 100-page anthology tribute for the Batman character’s 80th year and the one thousandth issue of “Detective Comics”. I don’t think anyone is ever at their best in a tribute anthology, but that makes them kind of interesting to look at, you know? There are eleven stories, which I will now spoil in their entirety.

1. “Batman’s Longest Case”, Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo, Jonathan Glapion, FCO Plascencia, Tom Napolitano: The first of two stories in which Batman is doing something that looks grim, but is actually happy and anniversary-ish - both with similar titles, and both from major Batman writers. This is the better one, because I think Capullo is an interesting artist. He’s comparable to Jae Lee, in that he’s someone who had some work in comics under his belt prior to being ushered into the second ‘generation’ of popular Image artists, and has continued to evolve quite vividly over the years. The Capullo of today dials up the use of shadows and silhouette that used to sort of decorate the folds of Spawn’s flowing cape and such - here, they’re used more to focus attention on storytelling fundamentals: geography; gesture; etc. I also generally like the colorist, FCO Plascencia, who’s done some Varleyesque color-as-mood work on earlier comics with this team, though the story here is subdued... very classy, dressed for the gala.   

Hints of ‘90s grotesquerie only pop up once Batman has solved a large number of flamboyantly abstruse riddles and discovered that the titular Longest Case is really an initiation test fronted by wrinkly old Slam Bradley, the original Siegel & Shuster-created star of “Detective Comics” back in 1937, who welcomes Batman to a Guild of Detection. This is clever of the writer, Scott Snyder, because Batman as a basic concept is hugely derivative of earlier pulp, detective and strip hero characters - and, if you’re being honest about paying homage to the character’s origins, you might as well play up lineage as your metaphor.

2. “Manufacture for Use”, Kevin Smith, Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Alex Sinclair, Todd Klein: In contrast, this story shoots for the quintessential. Smith, of course, is the filmmaker and longtime geek culture celebrity who’s written comics off and on, so maybe it’s his distance from the continuum of superhero writing that has inspired a short story that could have run as a backup in any Batman comic since the 1970s, give or take few cultural references. Matches Malone (Batman, when he is being an undercover cop) descends into the secretive world of true crime memorabilia to buy the gun that killed Bruce Wayne’s parents, which he then melts down to form the metal bat-symbol plate Batman wears on his chest, verily steeling his heart with the memory of this tragedy to fortify him in his neverending battle against crime! NANANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAN! Jim Lee and his usual crew makes everything look like it’s ‘supposed’ to, provided you see this type of statuesque posing as the best sort of superhero art, which many DC comics readers presumably do, given how a lot of these things look.

3. “The Legend of Knute Brody”, Paul Dini, Dustin Nguyen, Derek Fridolfs, John Kalisz, Steve Wands: Dini has written tons of comics, with not a few of those drawn by Nguyen, but this feels mostly like DC1k (acronym’s resemblance to “DICK” a purely innocuous reference to Nightwing, I assure you) acknowledging the extensive legacy of “Batman: The Animated Series”, on which Dini was a writer and producer. The story takes the form of a biography of an infamously clumsy hired thug for supervillains, whom even the most novice reader will have figured out is a Batman Family asset about halfway down page 4 of 8, leaving a whole lot of laborious and narration-heavy slapstick to wade through. Admittedly, this might work better as an animated cartoon, with voice acting leavening the pace of the gags, but I’m also not sure ‘this would be better in a different art form’ is the impression superhero comics should be giving right now.

4. “The Batman’s Design”, Warren Ellis, Becky Cloonan, Jordie Bellaire, Simon Bowland: 

Most of the drawing in DC1k is the kind of stuff you can easily trace to a few popular and fairly narrow traditions of ‘realistic’ superhero art. Becky Cloonan is the only woman to draw an entire comic in here -- Joëlle Jones co-pencils a story with Tony Daniel later on, and Amanda Conner does a pinup, mind -- and her work is the only place in this book where you catch glimpses of a global popular comics beyond the superhero provinces in the Hewlettian wild eyes of the hapless human opponents of her Batman, lunging through velvet layers of cape and smoke, lipless mouth parted on a shōnen ai jaw. It is really very impressive. 

The writer, Warren Ellis, does a pathos-of-the-hard-man story, in which Batman explains his combat strategies via narration while carrying them out, occasionally making reference to the medical bills his prey will incur and their timely motivations as terroristic white men who feel ignored by the world, and at the end Batman asks the last guy U WANT TO LIVE IN MY NIGHTMARE, LITTLE BOY and the guy is like n- no dr. batman sir, and gives up because Batman’s is too dangerous and scary a life model. It is made clear from the text that Batman has programmed himself into a system of reactionary violence that he inevitably reinforces, but this message is so heavily sugared with cool action and tough talk that the reader can easily disregard such commentary, if so inclined, which has been a trait of Ellis’ genre comics writing since at least as far back as “The Authority” in the late 1990s. It fits Batman as naturally as the goddamned cowl.  

 5. “Return to Crime Alley”, Dennis O’Neil, Steve Epting, Elizabeth Breitweiser, ‘Andworld Design’: I was surprised that there weren’t other writers from across the Atlantic in DC1k, given the extensive contributions of Alan Grant and Grant Morrison to the character. I was maybe not as surprised to see Dennis O’Neil as the lone credited writer to pre-date the blood and thunder revolution of Frank Miller et al. in the mid-1980s, as that commercial shadow is far too long to escape. Of course, O’Neil was one of the architects of superhero comics as a socially relevant proposition and Batman as a once-again ‘serious’ character in the 1970s, and it may be a reflection of his standing as a patriarch that this story contains no sugar whatsoever: on the anniversary of his parents’ death, Batman is confronted by a childhood caregiver who has figured out his dumb secret identity, and castigates him for doing stupid shit like dressing up as an animal and punching the underclass when he could actually do something as a wealthy man to improve the world. Then Batman starts beating the shit out of young masked teens who have stolen a gun, after which Batman, who is also a masked thug, is told that he is, at best, a figure of pity. The end! 

What emerges from this story, to my eye, is that Batman is a terrible fucking idea if examined with any sort of serious realism - and Steve Epting draws the story as close to photorealism as anything in this book gets. I also think it is not insignificant that O’Neil, the writer here most unplugged from superhero comics as a commercial vocation, is the one to make these observations; to believe in superhero comics is to understand that there is play at the heart of these paper dolls, and to make your living from these things is to contemplate new avenues for play. Maybe Batman is dark, obsessive! Should he... kill? Sure, Bill Finger made him kill. The Shadow killed lots of dudes. So did Dick Tracy. Ramp up the verisimilitude too much, though, and you’ve got a guy wearing a hood going out by the cover of night to scare the shit out of superstitious cowards who’ve been taking from the good people of society, which, in terms of motivational narratives, is the same origin as the Ku Klux Klan. To play nonetheless, is the craftsman’s burden.

6. “Heretic”, Christopher Priest, Neal Adams, Dave Stewart, Willie Schubert: Meanwhile, on the other side of the coin, is veteran Batman artist and frequent Dennis O’Neil collaborator Neal Adams. And while Adams is not credited as the writer on this story, it bears all the hallmarks of his 21st century work at DC: whiplash pacing; uneasy expository dialogue; and eager callbacks to Adams’ earlier work. This is the Batman comic as a continuity-driven adventure, and I found it largely incomprehensible as a story, not unlike Adams’ recent “Deadman” miniseries. I still like his husky Batman, though. 

7. “I Know”, Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, Josh Reed: Hey, did you know Brian Michael Bendis, writer of approximately ten and one half zillion Marvel comics, is writing comics at DC these days? Here he teams with longtime collaborator Maleev for a story that brings to mind the old line from Grant Morrison’s & Dave McKean’s “Arkham Asylum” about Batman being the real person and the guy under the mask being the mask. The Penguin, of all villains, figures out Batman’s secret identity, but elects not to pursue Bruce Wayne in his private life, because destroying Bruce Wayne would create a pure Batman far too dark and twiztid for anyone to handle. Or, maybe that is all just an image the perfectly sane Batman has deliberately encouraged as part of his umpteenth contingency plan. I would argue that this is a gentle spoof of people taking Batman too seriously, which clicks with what I’ve read of Bendis’ idea of the character in those 100-page comics they sell at Walmart: a globetrotting detective-adventurer, appropriate for all ages. Bear in mind, I’ve read maybe 0.2% of all Brian Bendis comics.  

8. “The Last Crime in Gotham”, Geoff Johns, Kelley Jones, Michelle Madsen, Rob Leigh: Whoa, now we’re talking! Kelley Jones! Just look at this: 

Such totally weird stuff, coming from the artist who drew all those classic ‘90s covers with the huge bat-ears and wildly distorted musculature, the cape this absurd, unreal shroud. It looks like he’s working from photo reference with some of this comic, but also just tearing out these drawings of huge jawlines and shit, this total what-the-fuck-is-going-on haze, which perfectly matches Geoff Johns’ furiously ridiculous story about an elderly Batman and his wife, Catwoman, and their daughter, and Damian, and a dog, who all investigate a mass murder that turns out to be the Joker’s son committing suicide, and then Batman unplugs the Bat-Signal because crime is over in Gotham forever, and then we find out it’s all the birthday wish of Batman, who is blowing out the candles on his birthday cake, in costume, in the Batcave. Is “Doomsday Clock” like this? Should I pirate it??

9. “The Precedent”, James Tynion IV, Alvaro Martinez-Bueno, Raul Fernandez, Brad Anderson, Sal Cipriano: Inevitably, we come to the story that argues that Batman is actually a great guy, and his pressing of children into action as vigilantes under the cover of night is an amazingly positive thing. This is what I mean by “play” - it doesn’t literally make sense, we all know that, but if you buy into the superhero idea, you can buy into this universe of metaphor where the Batman Family is a vivification of finding your company of people, and belonging, and being loved. Lots of talk in here about snatching young people out of the darkness and forging them in light, and helping them find a better path - it sounds like Batman is signing these kids up for the Marine Corps, which is one of several organizations that recognizes the power of these arch-romantic impulses.

10. “Batman’s Greatest Case.”, Tom King, Tony S. Daniel, Joëlle Jones, Tomeu Morey, Clayton Cowles: This is just unbearable. Oh god, what absolute treacle. It’s the second story in this book about Batman being serious and mysterious, but it turns out something nice is going on - he really just wants a photo of the whole Batman Family, because he lost his family when his parents got shot, but then he cracked his greatest case by finding a new family, which is the Batman Family!

All of this is communicated via clipped dialogue in which various Batman Family superheroes trade faux-awkward quips and cutesy ‘moments’ that are supposed to embody the endearing traits of the characters, but read as the blunt machinations of art that is absolutely desperate to be liked. This is art that is weeping on my shoulder and insisting I am its friend, and I want to get away from it, immediately. Tom King is the most acclaimed superhero writer of this generation, and I can only presume his better work is elsewhere.

11. “Medieval”, Peter J. Tomasi, Doug Mahnke, Jaime Mendoza, David Baron, Rob Leigh:

Finally, we have the obligatory story-that-leads-into-next-issue’s-serial, thereby demonstrating that Batman endures. It’s done as a series of 12 splash pages, depicting Batman in battle with his greatest foes, and it benefits immeasurably from the presence of artist Doug Mahnke (some inks by Jaime Mendoza), whose been a favorite of mine since those early, blood-splattered issues of “The Mask” at Dark Horse decades ago. Broadly speaking, Mahnke is working in a similarly muscular vein as many contributors to DC1k, but his sense of composition, of spectacle -- that boot-in-the-face energy the British call thrill-power -- adds an important extra crackle, and an element of humor; his Batman looks like a hulking maniac dressed in garbage bags, beating the shit out of monster after leering monster. What we are seeing is the fevered imagining of a new villain, the Arkham Knight (a variant of a character introduced in a video game), whom writer Peter J. Tomasi characterizes via the old trick of having the villain narrate to us a bunch of familiar criticisms of the hero, which the hero will presumably react to and overcome, or acknowledge in an interesting way, or something, in future installments. This probably would have worked better if other stories in this book hadn’t already made a lot of the same points in a manner that is not an advertisement for the rebuttal of those points... or if I were even capable of reading a story like this without imagining a final dialogue bubble coming in from off-panel going “SIR, THIS IS A BURGER KING DRIVE-THRU.” But something’s gotta go in issue #1001.

-Jog

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, mid July to August, 2019

Welcome to my latest summary of recent news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & ecommerce! This covers articles I came across from July 14 to August 24, although some may be older than that.

Tumblr has not been saving all of my drafts correctly, which has led to me rewriting some of this post more than once. (I’m now going to be compiling it elsewhere & pasting it here when done, to avoid this issue in the future.) That, a heavy workload, and some vacation time delayed & truncated this report. 

But the good news is I am now on a more consistent schedule, with more time to read and write. I expect to be getting this back to 3 times a month very soon. 

Are there types of news you would like to see here? Please let me know! Leave a comment below, email me through my website, or send me a message on Twitter.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

The priority placement is US search for items that ship free has been around for nearly 4 weeks, and doesn’t seem as disruptive as some feared. Etsy is conscious that non-US sellers are particularly upset about this, and have therefore published a list of things they are doing to help international sellers. (note that most of those things also help US sellers that ship to other countries, 

Etsy’s 2nd quarter results came out on August 1. Everything was up, but not quite as much as some experts predicted, so the stock is down quite a bit. The big announcement was that Etsy will be combining Promoted Listings & Google Shopping ads bought by sellers into Etsy Ads. They are supposed to launch in August, but I have yet to hear of any seller who thought this was a good idea.

3.5 million people worldwide use at least one social media platform. (That’s 46% of the planet’s population.) And more than half of the planet  - over 4 billion people - watch videos online. “[H]alf of all internet users below the age of 35″ use voice to operate their devices, with 43% of internet users worldwide using voice at least occasionally. 

SEO isn’t enough; you are going to have to spend money to be seen, if you don’t already “The last 18 years have been an anomaly. Twenty years ago, if a brand couldn't afford to pay for a newspaper or a radio ad, the media company didn't give the company time to publish a public service announcement. SEO allowed companies to go through a period where they received free listings on search engines like Google and Bing. Sending people to a brand's website is like getting a free television or radio commercial or newspaper ad or billboard at the baseball park in 1984″

Trend watch: both clothing retailers and makeup companies are seeing a drop in sales as their markets shrink. If you sell either, you will want to read both articles, as there are some parallels between the two areas in regard to what is and is not working. 

ETSY NEWS

Etsy purchased musical gear website Reverb for $275 million; it will continue to run separate from Etsy. Etsy stock went up at the time. This is notable because Etsy hasn’t bought much lately; it looks like they are slowly dialing back the panic mode, single-goal approach. Their business acumen has disappointed one commentator [humour].

Etsy is “improving” Etsy shop stats. (Note that the Google Shopping category is apparently for the ads you buy yourself only, not the ones Etsy buys, so you will need to use Google Analytics to look at those hits for the moment.) This seems to be leading up to the launch of Etsy Ads (see above).

Here’s some coverage of Etsy changes in the past few years (not a lot new, with some errors). 

Etsy seems to be ramping up its monitoring of seller customer service factors, as more people are receiving email notifications that their shops are falling below Etsy’s customer service expectations. I expect that any updates in this area might involve the new chat convo thingy: Convos are changing to live chat threads, which you cannot write more than one paragraph for because hitting return sends the message. It’s a mess. (Please forgive my frustration; I’ve already had to deal with over 40 separate convos from one buyer alone.)

There will be a site-wide Labour Day sale August 30-September 2, which Etsy will apparently be promoting. 

Fall fashion trends as promoted by Etsy: apparently silk scarves are in, for all sorts of uses. They also released their holiday trend report (pdf file), which I will summarize next week if I can find the time. It’s worth a look, because they divulge some top search data. You can also listen to the podcast, or read the podcast transcript. 

This article on tiered pricing and increasing your average order value is geared towards people using the $35 free shipping guarantee, but it is also useful for anyone wanting their customers to buy more from them. 

Staff will be using the Etsy Success section of the forum to post weekly tips called “Etsy Insights”. So far, they have been posting each week’s thread in that announcement post, so it is easy to skim and see if any topics are relevant for you. 

They are also asking members to sign up for more research surveys; so far, I am finding it pretty boring, and all of the content on their “hub” page is over a year old. 

The expansion into India saw their domestic listings more than double last year. Free workshops have helped bring many new sellers aboard. 

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

Google’s John Mu, who does SEO outreach & education, reminds us that “LSI keywords” are not actually a thing. (LSI was a computer method to figure out relationships between words back in the 1980s; no search engine today is using it, as they have real search data on how people relate words to each other, and it just doesn’t give any insight into modern search technology.)

You don’t need tons of backlinks, but you do need good ones. And linking out on your own site is a good idea in many cases [video], as long as it serves your readers. 

Using images that show up on many different web pages can harm your SEO. They used stock photos that showed up on hundreds of pages for this experiment, so it is not likely that using your own image on 5 sites, for example, would be a problem. 

It looks like there was a fairly significant Google update around July 18th; there’s a bit more coverage here. The last 3 large Google updates are summarized & analyzed here. 

Google then released a blog post explaining their core updates and what you should do if you are negatively affected by one. They linked to several SEO websites explaining Google’s concept “E-A-T” (Expertise, Authoritativeness and Trustworthiness), which is particularly important if you produce blog posts or educational materials.  

Less than half of Google searches now lead to a click on a website result, at least on desktop. Mobile Google searches overwhelmingly do not result in traffic to a website any more. (Note: as I always remind people, the data from these types of studies is always a bit suspect, because they only have a slice of the data, but the provider here probably has the biggest slice worldwide. 

Do you do some simple coding on your website or blog? You will find this beginners’ guide to canonical tags and the different uses of redirects and canonical tags [video & transcript] very helpful. If you are a bit more advanced than that, here’s a good guide to meta tags. 

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

Hubspot puts out a lot of good digital marketing guides; check out their “Ultimate Guide to Content Distribution”. Also, they covered how to write a great (& SEO-effective) blog headline, with examples. 

Some stats on current social media usage [infographic]. 

Verizon sold Tumblr to Wordpress owner Automattic. 

Snapchat users continue to increase, as does revenue. They still aren’t profitable, but didn’t expect to be yet. 

Not getting enough traffic on Facebook? Here’s how to get seen by more people there. 

There are ways to optimize your LinkedIn profile to get more sales.

How to get valuable Twitter followers, that is, not bots. (They use Etsy as an example of a well-optimized Twitter profile.) 

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Amazon is making advertising an even bigger slice of its income. 

Digital ad spending is continuing to increase in most areas.

Facebook is expanding its search ads to more businesses; it’s not really clear how it all works, though. The ads must also run as news feed ads. Here are some basic tips on how to get the most out of Facebook’s ad algorithm. 

With Etsy possibly ending the free Google Shopping ads it currently buys for us (see the Etsy Ads announcement above), this might be a good time to look into buying Google Shopping ads for your website; here is your complete guide to setting them up. 

More changes to regular Google ads mean less control for the business buying ads, meaning that exact match phrases are no longer even close. “Google says 15% of its daily searches are new — and advertisers will miss out on these new queries if matching is too tightly controlled. Its machine learning systems, the company says, can infer intent and spare advertisers from creating exhaustive keyword lists in order to get their ads to trigger on relevant queries.”

If you are thinking about paying for ads on Pinterest, you will want to read this starter guide. 

Twitter video ads now have an option to not pay for a click unless people view at least 6 seconds of the video. 

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

How to use Instagram Analytics to boost your business. (That is written for companies that are larger than most Etsy shops, but there is plenty of good material there.)

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

eBay beat earnings expectations in the second quarter. 

Amazon had higher than expected sales but lower than expected earnings in the second quarter. They keep thriving despite low profits margins because they have a massive cash flow. 

Alibaba reported higher than expected revenue and profit for its first quarter ending June 30th. 

Amazon sales on Prime Day (July 15-16, actually 2 days) were greater than last year’s Black Friday & Cyber Monday combined, and also signed up more new Prime members on each than ever before. Other websites also saw a big boost, especially for electronics. 

Amazon forced to amend its seller policies worldwide following German legal action. As of August 16, they will give 30 days notice for standard account cancellations. 

And they have expanded their robot deliveries (still followed by humans, though!)

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

While buyers do love free shipping, nearly half of US consumers surveyed will choose to pay for shipping in certain circumstances, most commonly when they really want the product. Only 11% said they never buy unless shipping is free. 

When you are trying to sell something, and especially if you want a repeat buyer, make sure you are pitching it to the right target market. For example, people who don’t want to spend a lot of money won’t buy things they can get for free elsewhere. Provide value for the right people. (A lot of this article is pitched at entrepreneurs selling classes and events, not tangible products, but I think there is a lot of value in the explanations.)

MISCELLANEOUS

WordPress is one of the most popular ways to set up your own website; here’s a beginner’s guide to getting started. 

Google beat earnings expectations in the second quarter. Ad revenue was up a lot. Microsoft also had a better-than-expected quarter, but the growth of their search ads and of LinkedIn (which they own) has slowed. 

How to choose colours that will work together well. 

There is a lot of research on productivity; here are 10 things you can do to get more done. 

If you use Chrome, you could really use these Chrome keyboard shortcuts. 

[arecomicsevengood]

A YEAR OF READING ACKNOWLEDGED MASTERPIECES #3: E.C. SEGAR’S POPEYE

So, while the original idea behind this series was for me to read an acclaimed comic I expect I’ll like but had not yet actually read, or to read something I’d read a little of but not its entirety, covering E.C. Segar’s Popeye is something of a cheat. When Fantagraphics began their reprint series, a roommate had the first volume, of what would eventually be six, and I read that; I later ordered my own copy of volume 3, and I own a copy of The Smithsonian Collection Of Newspaper Comics, which reprints the “Plunder Island” series of Sunday strips covered in volume 4. I enjoyed all of it, but didn’t feel a pressing need to acquire more, and now Volumes 4 and 5 are out of print and command high prices on the secondary market. This motivated me to get a copy of the still-available volume 6, which might seem less appealing because it’s the last stuff Segar did before he died, and health issues led there to be periods of time where the strip was entrusted to his assistants, in sequences not included.

The editors say those strips aren’t good, I’ll take their word for it. Other people have tried to sell other Popeye product, and I’m sure some of it is quite good: There are some people who take pains to point out that the Segar comic strips are not similar to the Fleischer brothers cartoons, but I’m sure those cartoons are good fun, I generally like the stuff that studio produced. I have seen the 1980 Robert Altman movie, starring Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall, with a screenplay by Jules Feiffer and songs by Harry Nilsson, which is a notorious flop, but with some admirers: Still, it’s a slog, which the comic strip never is. IDW’s comic strip reprint line put out books collection the late eighties/early nineties run of former underground cartoonist Bobby London, what I’ve read of that stuff (just previews online) is unfunny garbage. I think they also were behind reprints of comic books by Bud Sagendorf, and a revival written by Roger Langridge, neither of which I’ve read, though Langridge’s work is always ok; good enough for me to think it’s good, not compelling or transcendent enough for me to spend money on it. It’s all work done by those who have rights to the license, which makes me view it as essentially merchandise, like a pinball game or something. The Segar stuff is where it all comes from.

While other masterpieces of the first half of the twentieth century comics page, like George Herriman’s Krazy Kat or Winsor McKay’s Little Nemo are definitely acquired tastes, Popeye was not only popular enough to make its creator a rich man back in the day, it remains functional as populist entertainment today. I feel pretty “what’s not to like?” about it, and would recommend it to whoever. It’s funny, the characters are good, there’s adventures. The humor is three quarters sitcom style character work and one quarter the sort of silliness that verges on absurdism.

This light touch separates it from the first half of the twentieth century’s “adventure strips” that didn’t age as well, despite having well-done art that would influence generations of superhero artists. Segar’s art isn’t particularly impressive, but every strip tells a joke or two, and even if you don’t laugh at every joke, you’ll appreciate its readability, especially if you’ve ever tried to read a Roy Crane comic, or even Chester Gould’s Dick Tracy. I don’t want to praise E.C. Segar by merely listing works his comics read better than, but it really is notable how many people today are basically trying to do what he did, but are failing at least in part due to not understanding that’s what they’re trying to do. If you want to do a comedic adventure story that becomes popular enough for you to be financially successful, it might be worth reading a volume of Popeye and observing its rhythms. When I was reviewing Perdy a few weeks ago, I was thinking “This basically just wants to be a R-rated Popeye.” I recently found 3/4 of the issues of the Troy Nixey-drawn comic Vinegar Teeth for a quarter each; despite that comic’s high-concept pitch involving Lovecraftian monsters, it would probably have been better if it thought of itself as being a descendant of Popeye, rather than something that could be adapted into a movie. I’ll just phrase it in the format of a popular Twitter meme: Some of you have never read Popeye, and it shows.

Lesson number one, which just sort of emerges naturally from the format of the daily strip, is you’ve got to make jokes, and they can’t just be the same one, over and over again. To that end, you need a cast of characters, who each have their own bit, and who play off each other in various ways. It is easy to see why people don’t do this: Large ensembles grow organically, and most people start telling a story with either a central character or something precisely in mind they want to chronicle. The comic strip, with its long runs originating from a practitioner’s ability to tell a joke, can be a bit freer to stumble onto something that works, without even necessarily having a title character to return to.  The collections might be named after Popeye, but the comic strip being collected in these books was called Thimble Theater, which ran for a decade before Popeye showed up and circulation sky-rocketed. For a while, I think the consensus on the early stuff was it was pretty boring and hard to read before Popeye came in and livened the whole thing up, but recently there was a reprint of this earlier material, and I know the dude who reviewed it for The Comics Journal liked it, though I’m sure it’s easy to find someone at The Comics Journal who will like an old comic strip even if it’s bad. Either way, modern cartoonists don’t have Segar’s luxury, or having their work run for a half-disinterested audience until something clicks so much word spreads.

The gag-a-day pace, built around getting into new situations and adventures, itself creates a pressure to be inventive today’s graphic novelists can’t really match. After Popeye is established as a good character, prone to getting into scrapes, Segar can show us the comedy of him caring for a baby. He can also introduce Popeye’s dad, Poopdeck Pappy, that this character looks basically exactly like Popeye but is a piece of shit is a funny idea that would not occur in the early days of planning a project.

One reason why you wouldn’t necessarily do such a design choice is because, if you’re thinking of different media as a way to success, having characters with the exact same silhouette runs counter to the generally accepted rules of animation. Thimble Theatre, as per its name, is based on theater staging, rather than the more expressionist angles of film: We’re looking at characters from the side, usually seeing whoever’s talking in the same panel unless one of them is out of the room. These characters tend to have the same height, basically. Someone once said that looking at Popeye, printed six strips to a page, is kind of like looking at a page of sheet music. It’s not a particularly visually dynamic strip, the amount of black and white on a page is close to unvarying.

This is why I don’t believe in prescriptivism, or a suggestion of rules: I’m pretty sure that Popeye works because it’s not working super-hard to be visually interesting. This would be the number two lesson of what there is to learn from Popeye. I think this transparency in style is what allows this comedy/adventure hybrid to work, though I know others would blanch at this. It’s going for a big audience, and while I think this visual approach serves that end, I know why others, especially those who’ve been struck by later superhero comics or manga, would see visual excitement as the best way to achieve that goal. The audience that read newspaper comics wasn’t necessarily adept at following visual storytelling, and the sort of relationship that newspaper strips could have with a wider readership is not going to be achievable now. The folks that ride for Segar these days are mostly alt-comics people, like Sammy Harkham or Kevin Huizenga, who aren’t attempting the sort of popular entertainment extravaganzas he trafficked in.

Reading Popeye feels like reading, basically, which is a nice, contemplative experience, that not all comics can capture. I read a few pages of it before bed. Obviously, this pace is not how people consumed it in its heyday, but the pace people took it in at, a strip a day, is even more deliberate and steady, and I think, was crucial to its popularity. For a comic to be popular, it has to have characters that are interesting, obviously; there is probably no better way for an audience to build a relationship with fictional characters than over extended periods of time. This speed corresponds to the pace it was created at, one that now seems insanely luxurious to anyone whose workflow is dictated by the internet’s demand for content. It’s a total crowdpleaser, but it existed at a time where crowds could slowly gather. Popeye’s a popular entertainment from an era of reading, listening to the radio, going to plays or movies. It holds up, owing to a basic pleasantness we can understand as low stakes, and that’s helped along by the restraint of the art. It’s telling a story. It’s not a farce, crowded with visual jokes, and it’s not dictated by characters’ emoting either. I love a visually expressive art style, but here it’s important that the visuals remain “on-model,” reinforcing the stability of the characterizations. This sort of thing is also evident in Chris Onstad’s Achewood, which I would argue is the preeminent 21st century character-driven comic strip, with an audience that feels relatively “wide” rather than pointedly “niche.”

Lesson number three to how to make a popular comic is the thought I find myself thinking all the time, which is “Everyone needs to chill out.” The number one impediment to making entertainment that just quietly works is the desire to stand out and make a name for yourself as quickly as possible. This is similar to how the number one impediment to a peaceful and contented life is the demands of a failing capitalism where we are all competing for a shrinking pile of resources. To read these books now is a luxury, an indulgence, and while I don’t much go in for those, reading older comic strips carries with it this sort of nostalgic appeal for an era where it didn’t feel like everything was screaming at you for your attention all the time. As broad as Popeye is, it now possesses a certain dignity, owing to this dislocation in time from its origin. I don’t know if this felt like a feature at the time. I do think that if you are an artist that wants to be successful now, you should do what you can for the sort of circumstances that allow for genuine, long-lasting success to build, which involves a certain degree of permission to fail. Mainstream comics companies, with their mentality of “we’re going to print hundreds of comics a month, in hopes some find a niche large enough to be briefly profitable we can then try to milk for their last dollar and they quickly become exhausted,” act against this. As in a garden, there needs to be space for things to take root and grow.

[obscuniverse]

Obscu comments: Ready Player One, Part 1.

This is @derinthemadscientist‘s fault. Chapter 0

“I was sitting in my hideout watching cartoons“ Okay you’re either a grizzled old veteran with an actual hideout who watches cartoons because they can, or an awkward child who calls their room a ‘hideout’.

“globally networked“ unlike all other MMOS, apparently.

“At first, I couldn’t understand why the media was making such a big deal of the billionaire’s death.“ Awkward child it is.

“so the unwashed masses“ Could you maybe try harder to sound aloof and superior? I’m just not getting your disdainful sneering coming through as clear as I’d like.

I’m all of three paragraphs in and here and I can feel the neckbeard.

“But that was the rub. James Halliday had no heirs.“ And if this was set in a feudal monarchy, that would be an issue.

You’re gonna make this an issue, aren’t you Ernest?

“He’d spent the last fifteen years of his life in self-imposed isolation, during which time—if the rumors were to be believed —he’d gone completely insane.“ So the board of directors voted to remove him as CEO of the company like 14 years ago, right? Because massive global corporate juggernauts that have somehow established a telecommunications monopoly are not run by one person pedalling a bike to power a single computer in their own locked room.

You do know that, right?

Right, Ernest?

That’s okay though, I mean Halliday is probably having fun willing away his personal fortune.

“had everyone from Toronto to Tokyo crapping in their cornflakes” is this entire book going to read like a forum post? It is, isn’t it? Isn’t it, Ernest?

“His video message was actually a meticulously constructed short film titled Anorak’s Invitation“ A quick google tells me that, aside from being a kind of jacket, ‘Anorak’ is British slang for a person with obsessive niche interests. The global billionaire’s Final Message is basically entitled ‘Letter from a huge fuckin weeb’.

Also, how else would it be constructed? What purpose does ‘meticulous’ serve here? Is that unusual for a global tech billionaire? Was it especially meticulous? What is this description contrasting with, Ernest? Your own writing?

I’m going to sail right past the part where he had global admin rights to what’s literally the internet despite being AWOL for 15 years and this didn’t concern anybody at all. Let’s just say he ‘built a backdoor’ into it that has somehow gone unnoticed for several decades in a system that would be continually maintained and updated by thousands of sysadmins. Okay, it’s fine, he’s the creator of the core system. I’ll suspend my disbelief that his personal backdoor didn’t end up in the bin every time they upgraded something in the core build. Maybe it did and he rebuilt it, stealthily, all over again. Fine, but I’ve got my eye on you, Ernest.

“surpassing even the Zapruder film“ Just call it the Kennedy Assassination tape so nobody has to google it, Ernest.

Ernest, buddy, why am I seeing an ast-- oh, it’s a footnote. You’ve written your prologue chapter with fucking footnotes. Could you not figure out how to write more words with the rest of the words, Ernest?

My. God. There are seven footnotes. Of them, six say some version of “this was photoshopped in from an 80′s movie to confirm that this was, in fact from the 80′s. Did I mention the 80′s?” and the seventh is “this is a photo of the Rich Man of the Internet from the 80′s”. I really feel like Ernest has set up a much more interesting story and then elected to ignore it in favour of writing the gamergate manifesto of a 16-year-old boy. There’s apparently a nuclear war going on in the background, and one nerd somehow became the God-King of the Internet despite the fact that literally any first-world government would immediately try to seize this kind of centralised infrastructure away from him. Does this mean governments are a thing of the past? Is this entire story taking place in some kind of children’s creche in the Shadowrun continuity? I have so many questions, and none of them are about this book.

So God-King Jimmy is a 40-something-old man dancing in a re-edited scene of an 80′s highschool movie dance. I don’t know why it takes six sentences to say this, except to say that he danced flawlessly, and also:

“But Halliday has no dance partner. He is, as the saying goes, dancing with himself.” Is he now, Ernest? Is he really? To be fair to Ernest, I also wrote like this. In highschool. While desperately trying to inflate an essay to reach the wordcount.

“A few lines of text appear briefly at the lower left-hand corner of the screen, listing the name of the band, the song’s title, the record label, and the year of release, as if this were an old music video airing on MTV: Oingo Boingo, “Dead Man’s Party,” MCA Records, 1985.” We know how music videos work, Ernest.

“He breaks the fourth wall, addressing the viewer, and begins to read“. Is that what he’s doing by addressing the viewer, Ernest?  I’m so glad that you clarified that for me, Ernest, that when a character is breaking that fourth wall that they are explicitly breaking the fourth wall. What would we do without your propensity for re-describing your own descriptions, Ernest?

“I, James Donovan Halliday, being of sound mind and disposing memory, do hereby make, publish, and declare this instrument to be my last will and testament, hereby revoking any and all wills and codicils by me at any time heretofore made.…” *record scratch* I’m not sure this is legally binding. I mean you’ve gone through a truly painstaking amount of effort to describe how heavily-edited this video is. Maybe Emperor Jimmy is fraudulently edited in? Maybe that’s not a binding legal will? Maybe if he’s been a missing person for 15 years then he can’t be assumed to be of sound mind just because he suddenly shows up and says he is? Okay, maybe it’s just seemed like he’s been gone to the general public rather than the C-level of his company, who are somehow okay with the stock crash this is going to cause. “My entire estate, including a controlling share of stock in my company“ Hold up, buttercup. I have exhausted my supply of willing suspension of disbelief, Ernest.

There is just so much wrong with this entire premise. The awol hermit somehow retains control of The Internet. An entire corporate conglomerate and every country that may or may not exist is either okay with this or has no recourse to do anything about it somehow. Not a single one of the thousands of people who maintain the backend bothers to comb through the code to find where this ‘easter egg’ has been slipped in. You know about code, right Ernest? I mean I take it you’ve at least seen The Matrix, yeah? Remember how people sitting outside the matrix can scan through the code, even in that hellscape where they’re not even the ones that control it? Sure, OASIS probably isn’t open-source... but how many people do you think have actual backend access? Spoiler: It’s not “Just Emperor Jimmy”, Ernest. Nobody at that company needs to play through what I can only imagine is a painstakingly convoluted puzzle quest that you’re about to explain to me in several levels of unnecessary detail.

Look, this entire premise reminds me of Breaking Bad. Not any of the good bits, mind you but the bit where the entire plot could only take place in the USA because in the rest of the developed world Walter White just goes to a fucking doctor and gets treatment for his cancer because healthcare actually exists.

That’s what this is like. The number of arbitrarily nonsensical things that must be true for this premise to work is... Incredibly distracting. Nothing about this is a reasonable situation. Nothing that you’ve established about this world suggests that anything about this makes even a little bit of sense. Now I’m aware that ‘eccentric millionaire leaves money in some kind of convoluted contest’ is a trope and I remember some very silly 90′s movies based on this premise but come on Ernest. There’s a much more interesting novel hiding between the lines of the premise you’ve ham-fistedly implied just so you can list for me the brands of 1980′s televisions. Out of curiousity, I googled every person who wrote the advance praise comments inside the cover. I had a sneaking suspicion about the demographics of people who enjoy this book. Here’s a brief summary (since Ernest loves lists so much) 1. White American Male, Age 48

2. White American Male, Age 47

3. White American Male, Age 52

4. White American Male, Age 68

5. White American Male, Age 49

6. White American Male, Age 40

7. White American Male, Age 41

I then googled Ernest, an action I deeply regret. Demographically speaking, let’s have a look: White American Male, Age 46.

I’m detecting a pattern is what I’m saying here. I’m only halfway through the prologue, mind you, and perhaps this really picks up but I feel like I absolutely did not need to be told the brand of the television that Young God-Emperor Jimmy had his Atari 2600 into. Nor did I need to be told that his Atari 2600 was, indeed, an Atari 2600 about 10 words before God-Emperor Jimmy then actually says that it’s an Atari 2600. Maybe this book is for people who get a real kick out of seeing the words ‘Atari 2600′. People who are (and I’m just throwing wild, unsubstantiated theories out here) about 40+, white, male, and American?

I’m going to stop now because I’ve started writing my thesis just to procrastinate from having to read the second half of the prologue to this book.

[fyeahfantasticfour]

What are some really good stories for Reed being emotional and loving? I need some for the feels.

Oh, there are just tons! But here are some I especially like:

Fantastic Four: The Wedding Special – A joyous celebration of Reed and Sue’s decades-long marriage. It’s very, very cute.

Fantastic Four in…¡Ataque del MODOK! – Reed and Sue’s romantic island getaway is interrupted by MODOK. 

Cut for length.

Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #30: This takes place in a different universe, but it’s so good! Johnny’s upset with Reed because he feels the FF aren’t doing enough to help the people of Earth.

Marvel Adventures: Fantastic Four #38: Takes place in (the same) different universe, but it’s all about Ben and Reed’s relationship and Reed’s overwhelming guilt.

Marvel Fanfare v1 #2: “Annihilation”: Reed desperately tries to cure Ben.

Fantastic Four vs the X-Men #1-4: A diary surfaces that implies that the rocket crash was intentional human experimentation on Reed’s part (spoilers: it wasn’t), and Reed is devastated when the FF all turn their backs on him. 

Fantastic Four Unplugged #2: “Will Power”: After Reed is seemingly murdered by Doom, the surviving members of the FF attend the reading of his will. 

Fantastic Four v3 #2: “Be It Ever So Humble” – There are many extremely cute moments between Reed, Sue, and Franklin in this issue.

Fantastic Four v3 #10-12 – Reed loses his genius, which allows him to focus entirely on his family, the way he’s always wanted.

Fantastic Four Special 2005: Does Reed being caring toward Doom count? This is the issue where they basically go on a date and talk about their issues. There’s even a string quartet, candles, everything. It’s very romantic.

Fantastic Four v3 #60: “Inside Out” – Really, just read all of Waid’s run (this is the first issue) because there’s a lot of sad/caring Reed, but this is the issue with those panels featuring Reed putting Val to bed while telling her a bedtime story about the FF’s origins. I’d also recommend Sentient (v3 #62-64), which is about Reed’s relationship with Franklin, Hereafter (v1 #509-511), which is all about Reed coping extremely badly with Ben’s death, and Tag (#524), where the FF’s powers start hopping from person to person and Reed’s guilt makes a reappearance.

Marvel Knights 4 #1-4: “Wolf at the Door, Pts. 1-4”: The FF lose their fortune and their home, and Reed blames himself.

Marvel Knights 4 #28: “Private Lives, Public Faces” – Reed carries out his promise to be there for a man who is dying of cancer. (Warning, though – Sue’s storyline deals with her protecting one of her employees from a pretty gruesome case of serial marital rape.)

Fantastic Four v1 #527: “Distant Music” – Witnessing the birth and death of a planet leaves Reed musing on time, mortality, his family. I like this whole arc a lot (#527-532) and there’s a beautiful moment between Reed and his kids in the final issue.

Fantastic Four v1 #562: “Death of the Invisible Woman, Part 5: Requiem” – After a future version of Sue is murdered by Doom, the FF attend her funeral, Reed comforts Sue and tells his daughter – who recently revealed she’s a supergenius – that he’s proud of her.

Spider-Man/Fantastic Four v1 #2: “Symbiosis”: This is a flashback to 1980s-era comics, and it’s about the relationship mutual admiration society between Reed and Spider-Man, who Reed helped rid himself of his alien symbiote costume.

Fantastic Four v1 #588: “Three, Epilogue: Month of Mourning” – After Johnny’s heroic death, the surviving members of the FF are left mourning the loss of their younger brother.

Amazing Spider-Man v1 #657: “Torch Song” – Peter and the Fantastic Four reminisce about Johnny following Johnny’s death.

Fantastic Four v1 #605: “End of Line” – After Reed’s father takes him to see Ben’s future, Reed decides to spend time with his version of Ben.

FF v1 #23: “Run” – Mostly from Future Franklin’s POV, but there’s a very sweet scene between him and his parents at the end.

X-23 v2 #17-19: “Misadventures in Babysitting” – Reed and Sue go out on a date to a charity fundraiser, leaving Laura Kinney (X-23, Wolverine’s clone/daughter) to babysit Franklin and Val.

Fantastic Four v4 #4: “My Funny Valentine” – Includes flashbacks to the early days of Reed and Sue’s relationship. You don’t necessarily have to read anything other than the flashbacks – if you haven’t read Fraction’s run, it might not make the most sense.

Fantastic Four v1 #645: “Time and Tide” – This is a little short story at the end of the issue, where Reed shares his love of nature with his daughter. THIS STORY IS SO CUTE!

It’s also currently the last story published in a Fantastic Four comic. 

I feel like I just threw so many comics at you, but really, these are all good!

[theantisocialcritic]

Archive Project - August 5, 2014 - DBZ Battle of Gods Review

DragonBall Z: Battle of Gods, 2014. Akira Toriyama 85 Minutes Watch the Teaser Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUJHZekAz3Q&list=FLTPp050rjx1yapFW2pko3pQ&index=27 Tonight marks the opening of the limited one week run of long awaited return of DragonBall Z in it's first major motion picture for nearly twenty years! I'm going to review the movie but first I need to do something of a short retrospective on the series as a whole for either of my readers that hasn't seen nor heard of DragonBall before. Beginning life in the 1980s as a Japanese Comic book, DragonBall was born into the world into that moment when Martial Arts was the coolest thing ever. The story centers around a strange young boy named Goku, a naive little boy that lives in the woods who strangely enough has a monkey tale. After being discovered by Bulma, a budding young scientist who is on a quest for a series of magical artifacts known as the Dragon Balls, Goku begins a journey around the world to become a martial arts master. On his journey he meets many friends such as a desert bandit named Yamcha, a monk named Krillin and a rival martial artist named Tien. He also faces many enemies who seek the same artifacts sought by Bulma such as the idiotic Emperor Pelof and the Demon King Piccolo. After the series concluded a sequel series titled DragonBall Z was created to continue the series after Goku has grown up into an adult, gotten married and raised a young child named Gohan. DragonBall Z is by far the more fondly remembered of the three series (a subsequent third series called DragonBall GT was created but isn't commonly well thought of). DBZ was brought to the West as part of Cartoon Network's famed Toonami programming block in the late 90s/early 2000s. Its reputation skyrocketed amongst young people as part of the first wave of mainstream western anime fandom. DragonBall unfortunately never quite got the coverage as DBZ. In many aspects however the original DB had advantages over the subsequent series. Not to degrade how good DBZ is but DB had significantly better writing cops on hand. DBZ took a greater focus on action, with simplified storytelling and character motivations. It also dropped a lot of the more childish absurdist-fantasy elements of the original series in favor of a more focused cast of characters. Thats not a complaint really, it does work to make a compelling story, but on an intellectual level DBZ isn't as fascinating. It is however ridiculously awesome and fun to watch. DragonBall Z remains to this day a stable of the genre that most fans have a special place in their hearts for. Heck as i'm writing this now i've got my Season 2 Blu-ray playing on my Playstation right now! As most ultra-successful animes do, DBZ inspired a number of feature films promote the show. I've yet to see all of them, but in my personal opinion the best of them work at their best when they are doing world building and/or present genuinely compelling drama. Fusion Reborn, Broly the Legendary Super Saiyan and the first Cooler movie are among my favorites while Tree of Might and Lord Slug don't do much for me… With that out of the way, DragonBall Z: Battle of Gods holds significance as the first movie conceived by the show's creator Akira Toriayama since he left after the compilation of DBZ, just before DBGT. There have been some works in the DragonBall universe to come out in the last several years such as DragonBall Z Kai, a full series reedit that cuts out all of the annoying filler that fanboys love for some reason, as well as a couple decent specials. BoG however is a return to form of the series. A deliberate homage to the original series with nods to the best of DB and DBZ from the mind of it's original creator. As a movie, its pretty dang good! One part light hearted comedy, one part doomsday scenario, all anime! Taking place in the immediate aftermath of the events of the series finale story-arc, a powerful Deity known as the God of Destruction or Beerus has sought out Goku believing his power to be that equaling a fellow Deity's. When it turns out he is not, Beerus travels to Earth to find Goku's allies in an attempt to find the one with Godlike power. On a pure comedic and action-packed level, the movie works really well! Its not quite Oscar material but its directly paying homage to itself in a really entertaining way. If anything, BoG has some of the best writing chops that the series has brought to the table since the end of DragonBall. I was actually pretty surprised by how the movie chose to play out it's story arc with the villain. Its was fascinating and caught me off guard. The action of course.. well its a DBZ movie! Its exciting, colorful, ridiculous and fun to watch! Everything I wanted from it! The only major flaw I found was that of a tonal issue around the middle of the movie. The first half is a lot of comedy and character interaction but when the movie switches from party at Bulma's to Doomsday Martial arts fight, it does so rather swiftly and in a way that detracts from the tension of the fight. Granted within ten minutes you won't care because the fight does pick up. It just bothered me that for the first few minutes of the doomsday brawl I wasn't all that invested. Overall though if you like me are a longtime fan of the DragonBall franchise you will love the heck out of Battle of Gods! Definitely set aside time this week and check it out before it leaves theaters! If you've never checked out the series before i'd definitely recommend you to it! There are plenty of free anime sights across the Web like AnimeFreak or dbz.tv where you can watch it for free but if you wanna see it on the big screen you can buy the first season of DragonBall Z on DVD/Bluray at Best Buy for about $20.00. Definitely check it out! Its a whole lot of ridiculous, absurd fun! Thank you for reading! Live long and prosper!

[bughead-fic-request]

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @avenuepotter work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/AvenuePotter

FanFiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/~avenuepotter

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m chronically ill and it affects my creative output and my availability to others online (and for projects). Currently I’m off work, awaiting treatment (which is killing me!!! My job is my life). Also, I was a vidder long before I ever started writing fan fic and I tend to see myself more as a vidder than a writer or manipulator of photos. (Even though I do all three).

3. What do you never leave home without?

My cell phone. It’s my freakin’ LIFE. A close second is my viding laptop – can’t travel without it. Feels like I’m missing a part of me if it’s not available when I need it.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Is this a trick question? LOL. I’m a definitive night owl – on any North American time zone. When I’m out and about working my RL job, I work all shifts but my cutoff is 2am CST and I try really hard not to start work before 10am most weeks. Even though I tend to stop working between midnight-3am (depending on the time zone) it’s always been very difficult for me to fall asleep at night (unless the sun is freaking coming up LOL, but then I guess it’s not night anymore, is it?).

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

Bespin (Cloud City) from The Empire Strikes Back. It is GORGEOUS there, Han & Leia’s love for each other deepened there, and the fashion of the citizens can’t be beat. And it’s on another planet . . . so spaceships from all over the galaxy go in and out of there all the time. *sigh* Too bad the Empire took over and the bottom dropped out of the housing market. LOL. Must have been all the smudges on the walls from the laser blasts. 😉

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?

This is difficult to answer due to where/how I grew up. So, I’m going to limit this answer to a celebrity that I did not know personally before I met them and basically fangirled over when I did (which I don’t do often). He was the most exciting celebrity I have met to date. At the time I met him, I was working on a documentary series and I’m a HUGE fan of many producers of fine television shows (way more so than actors). My favorite show of all time is Farscape and I got to interview Rockne O’Banon, the creator of the show for our series. I was shaking in my boots the whole time – I was so nervous just asking questions from behind the camera. I told our executive producer that my voice would have to be dubbed when it was over. Ironically, it just recently popped up in my Facebook notifications that he and I have been friends for 7 years or something like that – basically since right after the interview. I was blown away. STILL.

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

FARSCAPE

Riverdale

Star Wars (The Empire Strikes Back is my favorite movie of all time)

Gattaca

Bladerunner

Spaceballs

Heathers

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

12 Monkeys

Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series

Mad Men

Law & Order: SVU

Twin Peaks

My Little Pony

Babylon 5

The Tudors

Gossip Girl

90210

iZombie

13 Reasons Why

American Horror Story – Especially Asylum, Coven, & Roanoke

The X-Files

. . . Damn, do I consume enough visual media or what? These are just the ones I like enough to put down as absolute favorites.

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

The Pet Shop Boys. That’s it folks. I love them.

9. Favorite Books?

The Night They Stole The Alphabet

The Harry Potter Series (and NO, “Avenue Potter” has nothing to do with this LOL. I don’t often discuss my love for this series online to avoid confusion)

The Lunar Chronicles

The Memoirs of Cleopatra (and basically anything else that Margaret George writes)

The Twilight and Dark Forces series of books from the 1980’s

Twilight (the series everyone knows, which makes it almost impossible to find the aforementioned Twilight books from the 80’s now)

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

Pox (a book about Syphilis – my favorite disease)

Deadly Feasts (a book about BSE)

Plague, Pox, and Pestilence

The Barbary Plague

Snow Crash & Zodiac by Neal Stephenson

The Dune Series by Frank Herbert

The Ender and Bean books by Orson Scott Card

Nefertiti & The Heretic Queen (and basically anything else that Michelle Moran writes)

ANY iteration of Snow White – I am obsessed with this fairytale (Cheryl Blossom’s mom is the Evil Queen’s psychic twin, I swear! Poor Cheryl)

10. Favorite Food?

Sourdough bread

11. Biggest pet peeve?

Nasty food. Hehe. Like Potatoes, Celery, Cinnamon, etc. . . . the list goes on and on. Bleech. Yucky. I am personally offended by nasty food. I find it obscene.

12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?

When I was little I wanted to be a producer/director of film and television. Now? I just love my current job in science so much I couldn’t imagine doing that stuff for a living anymore (although technically I produce training videos as part of my job because of my background in it). I prefer to keep my creative stuff as a hobby so that it’s relaxing to me and so that I can create better stuff. It can be a true creative outlet for my emotions if I’m not doing it for work. I never imagined that I’d feel this way when I was young, but I definitely do now.

13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?

Yeah, I have a true phobia: THE PLUG. Normal people know it as the drain. Like at the bottom of a pool. *shudder*

14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one thing you’d regret not doing?

Not doing SOMETHING to help male victims of sexual abuse by females. It’s like a hot button issue for me when I hear about men being abused and treated like sissies (or worse) for it afterwards (this goes for straight up domestic violence as well). Over the course of my lifetime, I’ve seen things I can’t unsee and I wish I could help to stop this kind of suffering. But I’m female – the last person I think a victim of this kind of abuse would want help from.

However, I’ve spoken with someone who knows I write and she said perhaps I can write about this issue – bring awareness to it. Well, I write plenty of non-con fanfics where the victim is often male and the perpetrator/s female (and even a few vids, cause some shows are bold enough to actually cover this topic). And I almost always explore how it affects their life afterwards, how they cope and are forever changed by it (not all have been published). She suggested writing about my experiences with this issue in a non-fiction setting (ie – writing about what I’ve actually witnessed and experienced) and try to get that stuff published to a wider audience than fan fic to bring awareness to this issue and to let the world know that it is NOT OKAY despite current social norms. She says that’s one way I can help. Perhaps I’ll get up the courage to do that someday. As you guys can probably guess, I’m not the biggest fan of Miss Grundy.

Okay… lets talk about your writing!

15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?

Initiation - because it deals with Jughead being raped by two Serpent women. But I know non-con is not everyone’s cup of tea and can be triggering, so I expect a low readership. I’m still proud of what I’ve done with it, though.

16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?

As I Lay Dying …. My Bughead Hamlet. It was really hard trying to force Jughead and Betty into the Hamlet and Ophelia roles and still keep them true to character. I did have to compromise a little because the main scene I focused on for this fic is the nunnery scene where Hamlet is a TOTAL dick to Ophelia. I found it difficult to make Jughead be that way to Betty, and had to make him more like Hamlet than Jughead in some parts.

17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?

Definitely not music. In no way, shape or form. Ironic, no? Yes, I’m a vidder but I have a very complicated relationship with music – and it’s not necessarily a positive one. For my vids I am almost NEVER inspired by music – I have a story to tell and then I have to go hunt for some song that fits it and can bear the repetition that editing demands. A painful task. Ugh. Currently I want to do a Bughead shipper vid, but finding the music is holding me up. And then of course, happy vids aren’t my strong suit either, so I’m not seeing a lot of payoff here.

But inspiration for fanfic? Well the show itself can leave major holes to fill. I LOVE those holes. I LIVE for canon-based filler fic! As a writer and a reader. And I’m visually inspired. Looking at stuff, analyzing it – going through shots frame by frame, etc – all spark my creativity. Just seeing Juggie looking sad or Betty looking at him in ‘just that way’ or even seeing the actors in some random publicity or candid photo with an unexpected background can inspire new thoughts I want to explore. And of course, bouncing ideas off of other fans generates muses as well.

But not requests or prompts. I try to avoid those. I have WAY too many muses of my own already and I just feel too much pressure from requests and if I took them, I wouldn’t be writing for me anymore. Turns it into a job, if you know what I mean. But sometimes some random prompt I find on Tumblr that I don’t even mean to run across will spark something. But it’s almost never what the prompt is asking for. I’m a weirdo. My mind doesn’t stay where it’s supposed to. 😊

18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

I don’t really have an idea that I struggle with – more like a whole category. I really struggle with AU (cause I’m a slave to canon), but I’m working through yet another one right now for Riverdale. It’s good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Especially if you’re inspired to do so. Don’t hold yourself back.

My first AU (in another fandom) was total crack, but I needed to break through and just do it, you know? I think pushing myself like that and breaking that barrier really helped improve my writing overall.

19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

God, I must be so vain because I like all my stuff. It’s like my vids (even the kinda crappy ones) – I find them entertaining, because I’m creating something I happen to like. Things that make me FEEL. Shows, ships, characters, situations I enjoy. Making them my own – exploring issues the show may never explore that I think are important. Not to say I haven’t been insecure about my writing. Because I have been. Definitely. OMG. It took being married to my husband for over a year and his gentle encouragement to start sharing stuff online. Stuff I’d written years ago. (I’ve been writing since I was 10 – and not just fanfic – it’s such a great outlet). My husband was the first person to actually believe in me as a writer. He somehow got me to read him my only published Buffy fic (which is about rape) on our FIRST DATE. I still don’t understand how that happened. My father told me he was just saying that he liked my writing to get in my pants, but boy was he wrong! He was saying it to get a ring on my finger! LOL

But it took the really nice comments I’ve gotten on my fic in the SVU fandom to make me really feel like a writer and not just a vidder who dabbles in stories from time to time. And they’ve been rewarded with 33 fics from me so far because of it. Which is a lot more than any of the other fandoms I write for. That’s the power of comments. 😊 Support the fic and writers you love and you’ll get more content.

20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?

In my story Jellybeans, I have a 5 year-old Jughead with trust issues. . . His distrust of the situation quickly outweighed his desire, as would often be the case for him well into adulthood . . . And this (mainly flashback) fic takes place right after Betty & Jughead’s epic fight at his 16th birthday party – but before they go to Pop’s. And this is one of his issues with Betty at this time. He may desire Betty, but his fear of good things turning on him is still alive and well at age 16.

21.Favorite character to write?

JUGHEAD. I can “feel” him - if you know what I mean. And I’m finding that I really like to write him first person. Although he’s a “past tense” speaker/thinker to me and I naturally write in present tense. So, it really stretches my mind and I have to work harder to write him thinking and experiencing life in past tense. But I LOVE it! Honestly, Betty is more difficult for me to find. Though I find that I have a harder time connecting with female characters in general. (Mommy issues) So I chalk it up to that.

22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?

Currently, it’s from my Bughead fic, Unrequited:

“You know, I liked you just fine as you were. No, I loved you, Betty.”

“Loved.”

“Yeah.”

There was that word just hung in the air between us, so presently in the past tense.

23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?

“Okay! I saw that this was updated and was like one of the happiest people EVER! This is one of my favorite fics on this site, and one of the ones that actually got me into the SVU fandom, and this chapter, as usual, was perfect. It's always in character and always keeps me wanting to read more. But then again that's true for everything you write! Love it and happy to see it's being continued, even as your becoming more involved in other fandoms! Major kudos!”

This was a comment I received on Stolen Moments from @oblivioncastro when I released Chapter 50. I was completely blown away by this, because although I’ve been used to my vids turning people on to certain fandoms (using them as recruiting tools – muhahaha!), I never expected one of my fics to be able to do this. WOW just WOW. The other fandom that is referred to in this comment is Bughead/Riverdale BTW. 😊 Oh how I’ve strayed . . .

24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?

Well, if they’re straight up trolling, which is pretty obvious TBH, then I just delete them. Just like when my ex-brother in law used to call me fat (which I am) because he thought he could hurt me that way, and I was like “please, try harder. that’s just so predictable & pathetic.” Now, when the criticism is based on something REAL, like “I’m confused about what you’re trying to do here” or “you didn’t characterize so and so correctly,” etc. this is valuable feedback to have. The only problem is EVERY single comment I’ve gotten like this comes from an anon that I can’t ask questions of – and I usually have BURNING questions because I want to improve and do a better job next time. I handle this by commenting back in my comment thread hoping they’ll come back and answer but they never do. In one particular case, I just don’t write a particular ship any more – I don’t write it well apparently (the commenter made many excellent points which I mostly agreed with) but I never got any feedback on how to improve, so I just gave up on trying. It’s not a great loss though, because they’re not a primary ship of mine – just one that compliments my OTP in another fandom. But it’s still frustrating.

25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?

Be able to have found a beta for everything I’ve posted. I hate releasing stuff unbeta’d, but I’ve just had to do it sometimes ‘cause I couldn’t find anyone.

26. What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?

Stolen Moments – my EPIC Rollisi filler fic for SVU. It’s 50 chapters long and going (64K I believe). Why is it my favorite? Mainly because its FILLER. I could be happy as a clam writing nothing but filler. And SVU gives us a LOT of holes to play with.

But also, it’s my most popular fic and I’ve made friends with some of the readers. It reminds me of vidding – I’ve made many friends through vidding, even technically met my husband through vidding – he was a fan of my Buffy vids before we ever met. I like making friends. I like sharing. Any piece of fan work that can bring people together gives me much joy.

27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?

A shit ton of comics and graphic novels. I’m visual. All of the new Archie stuff except for Josie and the Pussycats (I can’t handle the music aspect of it), including the Archie Horror comics (Jughead The Hunger is Amazeballs!), Wayward, Revival, Paper Girls, Saga. And I’m listening to Confessions of a Young Nero, Margaret George’s latest book, on Audible when I need to be in the dark and can’t use my eyes. The horror! The horror!

As for fan fiction I’m limiting myself to just two right now – and it’s taking me forever to get through them (but it’s good to be savoring them, right?) because I want to leave meaningful comments as I go along. I happen to be a slow reader, too. (Shhh, don’t tell anyone). The two fics are B.C. I Love You by @jugheadszombie (OMG weep!) and Softening the Edges by @bughead-bound (so precious). I have Bizarre Love Triangle by @ficmuse lined up next for when I get caught up with those. I don’t usually read two at time, but I was travelling when I first downloaded those two onto my tablet and things just happened, okay? (Yes, this was weeks ago – I told you I was slow)

28. Do you have any advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?

This is a hard one. I am very new to the Riverdale/Bughead fandom myself and I’ve never really been a shy one. I just jumped right in without much fear, so I’m not sure I can truly understand the anxiety surrounding starting to write for this fandom and give advice on how to deal with it. Extroverts aren’t always the best people to advise introverts I’ve found. We experience the world very differently and what works for me DEFINITELY does not work for my extremely shy Bestie. And vice versa. But I did find a pix that might answer this question (cause I’m visual and all):

AND THAT MOVIE GOT MADE!

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/karmic-tools-weekly-forecast-may-10-16-2020/

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: May 10 – 16, 2020

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast: May 10 – 16, 2020

By Kelly M. Beard

The video version of this forecast, as read by Kelly, is available here.

The Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast covers the current planetary transits which affect people in different ways and to various degrees of intensity. Take notice when it is a Personal planet (Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars) interacting with a Social (Jupiter/Saturn) or Collective planet (Uranus / Neptune/Pluto). And pay extremely close attention when it is a Social planet interacting with a Collective planet because that means something *big* is brewing that will move large groups of people along their evolutionary paths. Tuning in to the energy and rhythm of the planets can serve as a useful *guide* as you move along your Individual Path. It also helps to understand your place within the context of the larger Social & Collective Story. Below, you will find out how these energies tend to manifest, as well as guidance and direction. 

*NOTE*  There are some days when there are NO CONTACTS (besides the Moon), please note that there are no missing entries, we just list the actual Activations of each week + the day they happen.

Weekly Forecast: April 26 – May 2, 2020

5/10 ~ Mercury (learning & mind) ~trine~ Jupiter (education & consciousness):

This energy is great for expanding your mind, learning something new or taking a class. It’s time to plan for the future and start getting organized. However, you may feel less disciplined and more creative, which is fine in the beginning, but eventually focus & discipline will have to be engaged to ground your new ideas, thoughts or concepts. You have to ask your Self, ‘How bad do you want it?’ If you are self-aware, awake & alert, you will be able to see (and seize) the opportunities as they present themselves. It may ‘appear’ to be luck, but it’s really more that you were in alignment with the Cosmos, present & positive, and ultimately, able to trust & follow your own instincts. Practice, there is no perfection. Being optimistic & looking for opportunity in every experience will magnetize the positive and naturally repel the negative, leading right where you want to be! Take advantage of this good energy to connect to whatever it is you that are trying to create in your life at this time.

5/10 ~ Sun (core essential Self) ~sextile~ Neptune (vision & imagination):

This energy activates your ability to dissolve the ego (momentarily) and allow your SoulSelf to shine through! Your Spiritual center, base or practice comes up – how is it supporting you? If you’ve gotten away from your practice, this energy will make it easier to connect to your Spirit, your intuition and the vision for your life’s purpose, at this time. You may find where your contribution is most valued, when you step outside your Self and see how others’ needs are important. Find a need and fill it … in your own deliciously unique way, as you will be more giving & compassionate naturally, under this influence. Your physical energy may be low as a result of Neptune channeling the Sun’s Source Energy inwardly to re-charge your Spirit. Otherwise, it could be projections of all kinds, yours and other people’s as well. Best to spend some intentional solitude, preferably in nature if/when/where possible.

5/10 ~ Saturn Retrograde 1* AQUARIUS:

This is Saturn’s first time in Aquarius since 1991-1993 and today brings its first retrograde before it goes back for one last look around Capricorn and we move into very new territory when it goes forward at the end of September. It is a good idea to get clear on what you’ve learned in the last 2+ years about your own reality, as well as the reality of the world and define your own terms around the Capricorn House Issues (if you want to get personal). Otherwise, we all can see how a certain reality & purpose has played out and run its course since 1988. On social/collective levels, what have we learned? The 1980’s is when Reagan got the ball really rolling on corporations becoming people and people becoming consumers. Can we be done with that, please?! At the same time, the incredible technological breakthroughs of the 1990’s helped us connect globally, expanding our little individual worlds in ways that can never go back. Meaning: you cannot unknow what you know or unsee what you’ve seen. So how can you visualize more humans becoming more responsible stewards of Earth and more respectful of Mother ~ the Source of ALL LIFE? We can’t control the rest of the world, but we can make our own individual choices and we will have to, going forward, because we are stepping into a new reality and claiming a new purpose by Fall 2020 when Saturn goes forward and moves fully into Aquarius by the end of this year, initiating a whole new reality & purpose for humanity, in general.

Saturn Retrogrades every year, giving us a tremendous amount of stabilizing energy that you can direct consciously on your own behalf. Every year, Saturn asks us to clean up/clean out and upgrade your reality in some department of life. You can look to any area of your life that requires you to upgrade & fortify because it has essentially run its natural course and is more/less worn out. But you can also look to your Aquarius House, and see if those Areas of Life it represents, also may require some much-needed focus & dedication. Saturn often gets our attention by creating blockages & delays, pointing out weaknesses & oversights, and during its retrograde, there are reports of folks feeling like they are being ‘held back by the elbows’. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. A better use of Saturn’s amazing energy is to slow down and check in with your personal base. How organized are you in general? Are you naturally focused and self-directed or do you succeed more often when you have a structure? This is a time to develop or fortify your Inner Authority to make choices & decisions on your own behalf, with courage & confidence. Take time to organize your thoughts or create a plan or strategy for adjusting to the changes (seemingly) being forced on you at this time. Start with small, manageable goals because accomplishing them will also give you the momentum & fortitude to go after the bigger goals. It’s time to release fear & doubt and redefine your reality on some level, if nothing else, for the new year alone.

5/11 ~ Mercury (ideas, thoughts & concepts) ~square~ Mars (desire & actions):

This activation can be a tough one for some. If your beliefs are out of alignment with your actions, if you are not self-aware or act-out unconsciously, being selfish or childish, then watch out, because squares test you to grow and change in some way. Often, this also means that you are suppressing your nature in some way, which is never really a good idea. When you suppress your Soul, it can make your human more sensitive or defensive, taking things personally as a threat or challenge. If you catch your Self feeling irritable for no apparent reason, try to step back and gain some perspective before responding to your own thoughts or another’s words. Mercury & Mars getting together, in this challenging way, can provoke debates and, in some people, actual fights, so be careful. The deeper aspect of this activation is that some part of you wants to express, perhaps in a new way, and your monkey-mind has got you all off track. Mars demands that you know who you are and what you want, and is the Divine Masculine part of you, which is supposed to hold good boundaries, protect you and negotiate on your behalf in the world. If you know something that you are not acting on, this can be frustrating. If you are acting in ways that are not allowing you to think things through, this too can cause accidents, problems and delays. It is best to pull inward until you are clear. And also keep in mind, you may not be out of alignment in the above ways, but those around you may be and will likely have no context for what they are feeling and therefore, become indiscriminate with their choices & actions.

5/11 ~ Mercury Enters GEMINI:

Mercury and Mars are entering the sign right before the sign that they will retrograde, so this is the warm up, basically. Mercury moving into Gemini is special because it is home base and where it’s strongest. For the next 3-weeks we will be exploring – or supported to explore – our own consciousness and how we have mentally processed the last year of life. The last time Mercury was in Gemini was May 2019 – how have you grown, mentally? What have you learned in the last year? What new ideas, thoughts & concepts were born over the last year? Now, look at this process as preparation for it to linger next month in Cancer, when we will have to review how we FEEL about all that we learned in the last year. It is going to be an important personal review in light of the worldly issues going on because Cancer always tunes us into our personal needs & necessities. Use this time & energy as preparation for the retrograde and pay close attention to any choices or decisions you have to make at this time.

5/12 ~ Mercury (your thinking) ~trine~ Saturn (structure & organization):

This energy is good for deep thinking. You are sharp and your standards are high because you are in ‘strategy mode’. This is a more solitary energy though, so communications with others may be hampered a bit because it is time for you to hold your own, at some new level. It’s time to focus on the details that hold the big dream together, all the little things that make the grand vision work. Some respect that attention to detail while others may consider it nit-picky but it is what the energy supports at this time so don’t worry if others don’t understand. By the same token, you may also feel a little overwhelmed by the many “little things” that cannot be denied or delayed and thus a sense of urgency to get it all done. Beware of a tendency toward pessimism, depression or overwhelm. Try to stay focused on all the blessings that you do have and all that you have already accomplished instead of what’s still on the list of things to do (in life). This energy is not intended to make you feel bad about all the things left yet to do, but encourage you to begin the necessary steps for manifesting your dreams. This energy just makes you focus on the practical side of manifesting. Clear the debris, and begin to lay a new, clean, solid foundation beneath your goals. Saturn gets you present to the necessary steps and Mercury helps you think clearly.

5/12 ~ Mars Enters PISCES:

As I said above, this is a warm up to Mars also lingering in its home sign of Aries, later this Summer. So as it enters Pisces, this gives us a chance to dream up the new desires, direction & individual purpose about to be born in each of us. Mars is about who you are and what you want and we are dreaming that anew! In Pisces, you get to explore your spirituality, your imagination and your dreams. Does any of that even play a role in your life? Of course, it does for some more than others but if you are a staunch realist, this gives you permission to loosen up and dream a little over the next 2-months. Liberate your normal way of thinking for just a moment this week and consider this: If all your bills were paid, all your needs taken care of, what would you choose to do with your time, energy & money? You have to quiet the ego who wants to know and control everything, and surrender to your imagination and then, ask the real question: what do you truly desire? For your Self, for your family & community, for the world? Many of us share a vision of a progressive humanity that uses technology as a tool, rather than worship it like a god. Many of us share a vision of a connected humanity that honors the deepest value of the Mother, the land and the soil that feeds & sustains life on this planet rather than rape, pillage and slowly kill us all. There has been an awakening and an interruption in your normal flow, use this as an opportunity to explore territory you normally don’t allow yourself to explore and see what you find. If we hold that Light and that vision of the Aquarian Age really representing freedom, equality & reverence for all life, then we can magnetize that into our reality.

The last time Mars was in Pisces was Nov 2018 ~ what do you remember about that time? I remember Venus was retrograding then too! We were re-dreaming our lives then too. There was more emphasis on relationships but now it’s on our ideas, thoughts and concepts that inform our personal choices & individual actions. We are re-dreaming our world in many ways but I encourage you to use this energy to activate your own imagination so when Mars Retrogrades in Aries you’ll have access to some creative solutions or at least a new vision for your own life that will be reborn on the other side of 2020.

5/13 ~ Venus Retrograde 21* GEMINI:

Here we are! Today Venus goes Retrograde in Gemini and that brings the official review of our ideas, thoughts, concepts and any indecisiveness or inner duality that no longer serves will be released so that you can create a new life, going forward. It’s not too late, in fact, the 2-part Introduction will be useful & relevant to refer to periodically over the whole entire cycle April 2020 – Dec 2021 but especially at the beginning, middle and end of cycle so feel free to Register HERE to Receive Replay + Custom Goodies (birth info required). If you would like your own Venus Reading + Custom Guide, it will still be useful & relevant whether you get it now HERE or in the next 6-months or so. Details HERE

Right now, she is about to disappear from the evening sky, reset her entire cycle and come back as the Morning Star. Our overall archetype for this cycle is the StoryTeller ~ we will spend the next 9-months, releasing Shadow Trickster and the many narratives that no longer apply. We will assess the value of our ideas and the effectiveness of our mental processes that inform our values & priorities. Then, around Spring Equinox 2021, she will disappear from the sky again for a time and come back as the Evening Star and we will launch 9-months of Reclamation. The StoryTeller will continue to guide us but then we will be Reclaiming the Inner Pioneer that is excited about a new adventure and new prospects in unexplored territory, which essentially, is what 2021 looks like already. Completely. New. Ground. Let’s use this Summer’s Retrogrades to reset ourselves and realign within so that our GPS can be set to Beauty & Balance for the Beings of Earth. Don’t look back as much as imagine forward ~ what do you want to be a voice for? What is burning to be expressed through you? How can your thinking & perception skills improve so that you are naturally a creative, critical thinker that understands all aspects of a situation?

Also, for those of you who haven’t gone into the Venus Article HERE or the introduction, know that a Venus & Mars Retrograde in the same year is special and personal. But in addition to our own individual evolution, every time Venus lingers in Gemini or Sagittarius, humanity’s consciousness evolves and we become more and more aware of our innate connection to eachother and all life. Venus only crosses the Sun every 113-130 years and she last did that in the years 2004 and 2012, when we were all alive and witnessing humanity’s consciousness evolve even while participating. This is what it looks like at the end of one era and the beginning of a new era – literally. Since we only get a mere 100 years (if we’re lucky) we can only do our part but it is an exciting time to be awake and on Earth – wow!

5/14 ~ Jupiter Retrograde 27* CAPRICORN:

No matter what your Sun Sign or where your Jupiter is in your chart, this is the best time for really checking in with your own beliefs & philosophies, in this case, around Capricorn Issues of responsibility, structure, family & work obligations and most of all your purpose. That said, it is affecting my Cardinal Babies the most directly, those of you with Aries/Libra/Cancer/Capricorn activated in your chart. Jupiter is expanding the Capricorn zone for a whole year, so the other areas are being affected by default.

As I’ve said before, any retrograde planet indicates a time to slow down and recognize the shift in the energy. Try not to qualify it as ‘good or bad’ but simply look for any kind of *turn around*. Often, we don’t stop to reflect until we are blocked by some (seemingly) outside force. Many have been experiencing a testing of their faith and ability to continue to believe in a positive outcome for all involved. It’s hard to keep a positive attitude when we know there is so much work to be done to restore balance, in ourselves and the planet. But that is the thing about faith, if you keep it in the “idea/concept” realm and never test it to see how it works for you personally, then it is a lot easier to lose along the way.

Faith is an active principle. We are being challenged to dream up a new and better Story for ourselves & the planet. What do you believe? Part of my work as the Mystic Mentor is reminding you that your Soul Work is an ongoing, lifelong process. We get to work on this monthly, annually and in a bigger way, like now, every 12-years. Where Neptune represents our spirituality and connection to God/Source, Jupiter is our faith and personal code that we live by, our individual Truth.

Jupiter is also one of the *benefactors* in the Heavens and the lessons include how to better your life: education, consciousness, justice, integrity and truth to start with. Jupiter makes things bigger, so when in Capricorn, it’s expanding your conscious awareness around the Purpose of your life and the Story you tell with how you choose your responsibilities or obligations. It’s time to get serious about the big picture of your life – what are you co-creating with your resources & choices? How is it time to branch out on your own in some way? With Jupiter, it is always time to expand in some way, and that is customized for each individual (depending on your Capricorn House). Another one of Jupiter’s gifts is inflation so when it retrogrades, deflation can occur in that Area of Life for you so it’s good to be alert.

One of the blessings of this year’s Jupiter lesson is that we are supported to stop reaching outside of our Selves for guidance & clarity and turn to our own inner guidance to direct us. What do you believe to be true or possible for you? for humanity? for the planet?

Every year, Jupiter retrogrades giving us a chance to edit our stories, individually and collectively. With Neptune continuing its journey through Pisces, we are so supported to activate the Imagination to assist this year in a bigger way than usual that can manifest tangible results. If you pull back to re-evaluate and tune-in to a greater vision for yourself, rather than try to force your will, you will feel stronger and more centered, which enables you to be more effective in the world. Work smarter, not harder. Make the necessary adjustments being demanded of you at this time. Edit or rewrite your personal Story and it will ultimately empower you.

Retrogrades demand that we contemplate the (true) source or hidden cause of our motives. There may be an imbalance. What you’ve been subconsciously thinking about or even acting out in some way, may come to the forefront and demand attention. You may have an urge to make a sudden decision regarding self-preservation. Any new plans impulsively implemented at this time will most likely need a revision (re-vision/new vision) somewhere down the line. Closer to Jupiter going Direct (9/12) things may begin to take shape in unexpected and wonderful ways that even you couldn’t dream up! So use the next 4-months to reflect on how you’d like to improve your life and the world.

5/15 ~ Sun (core essential Self) ~trine~ Pluto (purification & transformation):

This energy makes you want to get things done, by any means necessary and you may tend to come on a little strong – but it’s all good. The work you want to do, is work that needs to be done and in doing it and facing things head-on, you will gain insights about your Self that fortify your foundation so that your life can evolve to the next level organically. This intense and powerful energy is transformative in nature and will provoke you to think deeply about your life; what you need, desire and deserve. You may find that some aspects of your life need to be reformed or released – go for it – this energy makes reform and release easier than usual. It’s a good time to make an impression or an impact on others, but be sure to keep it on the Highest level possible. Any actions or statements used to manipulate others for selfish gain can/will backfire on you in a big way. This is a positive, uplifting, transformative energy – use it as such to clear the debris and create the life you were born to live.

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0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 37 38 40 41 42 43 and 44

Wow, almost all of them, huh, @annoyinglyuniquebread? I’ll put it under a read-more as to not hit everyone with walls of text but read if ya feel like it…Okay, here we go!

0. Height 

I’m 5′1 just like Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia!

1. Age

I’m 21, but my birthday is in February so pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ 22! *Dances horrendously*

2. Shoe Size

 I’m a 5 in US sizes I think…?

3. Do you smoke?

I do not

4. Do you drink?

Well yes, it’s important to stay hydrated kids, my drink of choice is coke or tea…But I assume this is asking if I drink alcohol which I do not do

5. Do you take drugs?

Once again I assume this is referring to illegal drugs and not meds, I do not do any of those. However I do take antidepressants and sleeping pills for my anxiety-related insomnia/the occasional anxiety-suppressor.

6. Age you get mistaken for?

As I’m pretty short and thin (+ you tend to look smaller in a wheelchair which i occasionally use) I’d say people tend to assume I’m a lot younger than I am. If asked my age most people tend to guess around 15, or at least they did when I was in my late teens, no one has guessed my age in a while so maybe i look older these days? idk lol

7. Have tattoos?

I do have a tiny lightening bolt on my wrist, it’s a Harry Potter reference/a symbol for my general love of stories.

8: Want any tattoos?

I do definitely want more tattoos in the future, I haven’t really decided on placements yet but I know that I want a Buffy-B (a B in the Btvs-font) on my other wrist so that my two fandom tattoos can match in placements. I also want a fox somewhere and “fearless” in Taylor Swift’s handwriting to remind me of her brilliant definition of the word: (”To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”)   which I think will help with my anxiety. Those are a few of the tattoos I know that I want to get at some point, but there’s always room for more options since I really like the idea of a lot of tattoos!

9: Got any piercings?

Nope, not even pierced ears

10: Want any piercings?

Not really, no

11: Best friend?

@gay-grandma

12: Relationship status?

Single, sapphic and sad

13: Biggest turn ons?

As far as personality and little things go I’d say people who listen and respect my opinions and my view of a situation, but also aren’t afraid to say what they think/voice their opinions I guess. Also like, when people are genuine with their affection and you can tell that they just genuinely care for you I guess? Geez this sounds cheesy! As for physically, I’m gonna say collarbones…Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird…Not necessarily seeing collar bones (malnutrition isn’t sexy, kids!) but just like biting or kissing them I don’t even know! Maybe I have a few kinks too, but this is already officially TMI and I’m gonna stop………..   

14: Biggest turn offs?

Bigoted or small-minded people honestly, nope not gonna interact!

16: I’ll love you if…

You respect me, seduce me with your nerdiness and/or let me introduce you to nerdy stuff (Movies/shows/books/games etc) I like and most importantly, genuinely seem to like me tbh, I don’t ask for much…

17: Someone you miss

I live pretty far away from my family for school so I find myself almost constantly missing them and my dog :( Also you and your stupidly pretty face, @annoyinglyuniquebread I can’t believe it’s gonna be so long until I get to see you!

18: Most traumatic experience?

Probably something emotionally abusive at the hands of my biological dad or his wife but honestly I’ve repressed most of it and I don’t really wanna talk about that sooooo………*shudders* Anywayyyy

20: What I hate most about myself?

Too many things to list to be honest. I’m not trying to sound negative, but I do have a lot of issues when it comes to how I view myself, but I am working on them and am hoping to be getting to a place where I can honestly say that I don’t think I suck in the near future, wish me luck!

22: What I want to be when I get older?

Author! I wanna write, write write! If ONE kid picks up a book I’ve written and it helps them in any way at all or sparks that love of stories in them that has become my own driving force, then my goal in life has been achieved!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay, so I have 4 siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers. My relationship to my sisters are pretty much your standard sibling-situation, we grew up together and occasionally we wanted to murder each other, but most of the time we got along and now as adults we’re all pretty close even though I live far away. My brothers are a more complicated situation, due to my nonexistent relationship with my biological father I haven’t actually seen my little bros in years, I hope that we’ll be able to have some type of relationship one day, but as long as they live with dad I don’t see that as possible, although I love them and would love to be a proper big sib to them someday!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom is absolutely one of the most important people in my life, I love spending time with her and she’s the one I go to first if any problem, big or small arises in my life, we’ve always been extremely close and she’s quite simply my best friend. My step-dad (who I tend to refer to as dad most of the time) has been in my life since I was 4 and he’s more of a father to me than my biological dad (who i don’t even view as my ‘dad’ at all) ever was or could ever be. I love him with all my heart, he’s the best and one of the funniest people I know! I’d say generally I’m very, very close to both of my parents and they’re both extremely important to me and here I am getting sappy at 2AM. 

25: My idea of a perfect date

Movie/Show marathon and cuddling with snacks tbh

26: My biggest pet peeves

When the cover/general appearance of a book on my shelf doesn’t match what the rest of the books in that series look like…All my books have to match if they’re part of the same series or I freak the fuck out honestly! That’s really the only pet peeve I can think of at the moment.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I kinda really like @annoyinglyuniquebread but don’t tell her, it’d just get to her pretty head and she’d probably tease me about it and I’m shy!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Wow, has someone told the oversized cheeto running America that he has a giant dead cat on his head yet orrrrr…?

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend?

I can’t think of a specific situation in which I’ve done this just now, but chances are if you’re my friend I’ve probably lied to you and told you I was sick so I wouldn’t have to hang out with you that day, it’s not that I don’t WANNA hang out, I love you I promise…it’s just my very awkward introverted ass not being sure how to tell you that I need to reschedule because my social battery is drained and that I am going to physically explode if I have to be around humans for the next few days, without sounding like a hermit and/or hurting your feelings soooo…Yeah, sorry about that!

30: What I hate the most about work/school?

That it ruins the fun of learning with all those deadlines and gives me performance anxiety about stuff I’d normally be good at/comfortable with doing…

31: What my last text message says?

“Night, I love you

32: What words upset me the most?

Any type of uninformed, ignorant hate speech, when someone is being bigoted in my presence it always makes me feel like I want to scream and/or cry 

33: What words make me feel the best about myself?

When people compliment my hair, clothes or writing it really makes my day every time without fail! Also when people use my chosen name and pronoun it makes me feel like I could take on the whole world on my own and win, so thank you SO much to everyone in my life who make an effort to do that every day!!

34: What I find attractive in women?

Um, everything about them, i mean have you SEEN girls??? I love being a lesbian; ladies, you’re all so beautiful I wanna squeal just thinking about it!

35: What I find attractive in men?

Them being Harrison Ford. If you are male, but not Mr. Ford I’m sorry but I’m simply not attracted to you at all and won’t date you. Sorry men, I don’t make the rules. However, if you’re reading this, Harrison from ca 1980 (why would you be?) hit me up!

37: One of my insecurities?

Too many to list again, but like I said, I am working on that! 

38: My childhood career choice

Author, not much has changed, huh? I’ve actually known what I want to be since I was like 5.

40: Who I wish I could be?

A happier, more secure version of myself…Or you know Han Solo/Veronica Mars/Kim Possible, that works too!

41: Where I want to be right now?

Right at this moment I’m pretty happy here under the covers in my big comfy bed listening to Taylor Swift with my laptop in my lap and answering all these questions. Even though I’m having a pretty bad case of insomnia I feel pretty content, a little hungry tho…Think I’m gonna go make noodles and finish Stranger Things when I’m done answering these! 

42: The last thing I ate

Some salted caramel chocolate a while ago, it was delicious!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately?

Well I’d be cheating on my wife if I didn’t say Sarah Michelle Gellar, wouldn’t I? Although there are a few other candidates as well…

44: A random fact about anything

Did you guys know that @annoyinglyuniquebread aka Bella is really cute and awesome and great at holding hands? Well, if you didn’t there’s a random fact for ya!

Wow, that sure was a lot of questions, but it was fun to answer them all! Thanks for sending them, Bella